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Don't you hate it when people post obnoxious text at the top of their blog and you have to scroll past it every time you want to read what they've posted? Man, I really hate that.
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I wrote a poem! (Oh no-em!)

Posted 11-29-2010 at 03:04 PM by Splat
Updated 11-30-2010 at 04:59 AM by Splat
I believe it highlights one of the greatest, most infuriating degradations to fester within our society at this time.

I call it

Ode to Cloudy Apple Juice

Begone! O cloudy apple juice!
Thine taste art most obscene!
I'd rather drink a foul mix
Of soap and kerosene!

Begone! O cloudy apple juice!
Most cursÚd on my lips!
I wouldst not sup such nectar vile
With eggs or ham or chips!

Begone! O cloudy apple juice!
You really aren't that nice!
(I wish more people would observe
This free and wise advice!)

Begone! O cloudy apple juice
So I couldst hope, next time
My mother shops, she wouldst purchase
The nice, non-cloudy kind.


My two regrets are trying to rhyme 'obscene' with 'kerosene', and not including enough exclamation marks.

One day I'll have to post a recording of me reading this.
Posted in Everything
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Total Comments 9

Comments

Old
T-nex's Avatar
My regrets are that it didn't have Star Orange
Posted 11-29-2010 at 03:08 PM by T-nex T-nex is offline

Old
Phylum's Avatar
I enjoyed reading that. Very clever.

In my view, the first verse would flow better with:

Begone! O cloudy apple juice!
Thine taste art most obscene!
I'd rather drink the foulest mix
Of soap and kerosene!
Posted 11-29-2010 at 03:40 PM by Phylum Phylum is offline

Old
scrabface's Avatar
kreativ
Posted 11-29-2010 at 05:37 PM by scrabface scrabface is offline

Old
Xavier's Avatar
Nice one.
Posted 11-29-2010 at 10:06 PM by Xavier Xavier is offline

Old
MeechMunchie's Avatar
Well I never! A wandering poet.
He rhymes and doesn't even know it.
Posted 11-29-2010 at 11:41 PM by MeechMunchie MeechMunchie is offline

Old
enchilado's Avatar
I

I like cloudy apple juice
Posted 11-30-2010 at 03:07 AM by enchilado enchilado is offline

Old
Splat's Avatar
Begone! O Enchilado for
You clearly have no taste
So leave this place at once or I
Will grind you to a paste!

My next great work will be designed to teach newbies to use the edit button.

Phylum, it works if you make 'foul' fill two syllables. And, for that matter, make 'purchase' rhyme with 'her mace'.Oration is fun.
Posted 11-30-2010 at 05:02 AM by Splat Splat is offline
Updated 11-30-2010 at 05:18 AM by Splat

Old
Phylum's Avatar
I have since spoken the poem and realised that I erred.
Posted 11-30-2010 at 06:28 PM by Phylum Phylum is offline

Old
OANST's Avatar
Cider is good.
Posted 12-01-2010 at 05:43 AM by OANST OANST is offline

 

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