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Perfection

Posted 02-22-2013 at 11:39 AM by Nepsotic
Updated 02-22-2013 at 11:41 AM by Nepsotic
So I went to the educational psychiatrist, and it was much better than I expected. I had no reason to be nervous, and I'm sure if I had relaxed it would have been quite calming. I like the little room, you can shut the blinds and the little window on the door so nobody can see in.

So yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was still horrible. At certain points I just couldn't speak, it was really weird.

She made another appointment for a longer time. She wants me to jot down things that make me angry, and I quote: "shitty". She didn't give me any advice about my anxiety and I didn't get a diagnosis which is what I really wanted, but oh well, I've still got a long way to go so that should happen eventually.
The only problem is I still have that nagging in the back of my mind that they'll find something really wrong with me and lock my up or some shit. I know it probably won't happen, but the thought's there.

Next time she said we'll be talking about triggers, what sets me off, and what calms me down. No doubt the topic will get to ponies eventually and somebody told me that they will try to remove them first, which scared me.

I feel bad blogging about this because there are members on here who actually have real problems.

Also, special thanks to Nate for necruming the election thread. Can we all agree that I won?

In other news, I made this. This is the most insane thing I have ever produced and I can't figure out if it's good insane or bad insane.


Glitchstep?
Total Comments 9

Comments

Old
Varrok's Avatar
This is not what I would call a perfection.

Quote:
Also, special thanks to Nate for necruming the election thread. Can we all agree that I won?
No. I voted for you (and changed it later to MS), so you lost

Quote:
No doubt the topic will get to ponies eventually and somebody told me that they will try to remove them first, which scared me.
That would be dumb and pointless of them.
Posted 02-22-2013 at 11:59 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline
Updated 02-22-2013 at 12:02 PM by Varrok

Old
Nepsotic's Avatar
It's just what somebody told me.

Quote:
This is not what I would call a perfection.
It's the title of the track because the vocals I chopped up were from a song that goes "this day was going to be perfect". It's extremely elaborate.
Posted 02-22-2013 at 12:07 PM by Nepsotic Nepsotic is offline

Old
Slog Bait's Avatar
I've always been a sucker for splicing vocals in music. I think you did that part well but the rest still needs work. A lot of work. You're getting better slowly but surely, though.
Posted 02-22-2013 at 12:15 PM by Slog Bait Slog Bait is offline

Old
OddjobAbe's Avatar
Quote:
That would be dumb and pointless of them.
Actually, if he's depending on them too much for escapism, I wouldn't be surprised if they at least tried to reduce the role they play in his daily activities (and rightly so, as it's destructive in the long-term), but it he is doing more productive things like music now at least, so I don't know.

Sorry to talk about you in third-person, Nepsotic. I don't think you have too much to worry about - as far as I can tell, whilst your problems are real, the hope of functioning adequately isn't lost to the point of insitutionalisation.
Posted 02-22-2013 at 12:18 PM by OddjobAbe OddjobAbe is offline

Old
Nepsotic's Avatar
Thanks, I really hope you're right.
Quote:
I've always been a sucker for splicing vocals in music. I think you did that part well but the rest still needs work. A lot of work.
Yeah, it's nowhere near finished, I only whipped it up really quick as an experiment, I wasn't going for a particular genre here and I think (hope) I came up with something pretty original. I don't know what the hell it turned out as, but I'm pretty proud of it so far considering it only took me a couple of hours.
Quote:
Actually, if he's depending on them too much for escapism, I wouldn't be surprised if they at least tried to reduce the role they play in his daily activities (and rightly so, as it's destructive in the long-term)
How so?
Posted 02-22-2013 at 12:22 PM by Nepsotic Nepsotic is offline
Updated 02-22-2013 at 12:25 PM by Nepsotic

Old
Manco's Avatar
If youíre that worried that they might take away a cartoon you watch then maybe thatís a sign that you rely on it a little too much?
Posted 02-22-2013 at 12:41 PM by Manco Manco is offline

Old
OddjobAbe's Avatar
Quote:
How so?
It's not stimulating to your imagination and it doesn't encourage you to do things - it'll only breed apathy and a tendency to procrastinate. If you continue to depend on it the way you seem to, you risk stagnating.
Posted 02-22-2013 at 12:53 PM by OddjobAbe OddjobAbe is offline

Old
STM's Avatar
I liked the song mate, the start sounded like the theme for the old Captain Blood game.

On the whole problems thing, I hope they give you back a sense of security and that everything goes well for you. You're not the person you were a year ago (sorry if that sounds condescending it's not intentional) and I do wish you all the best of course. Seems like you're a good guy and going to a therapist will hopefully calm you down.
Posted 02-22-2013 at 02:08 PM by STM STM is offline

Old
MA's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nep
It's just what somebody told me.
then somebody is talking shit. seriously, they don't give a fuck about ponies. they have more substantial shit to investigate than cartoons.

the only way ponies would come up is if you made a big deal out of it yourself. so if there's no need, don't bring it up.
Posted 02-22-2013 at 07:02 PM by MA MA is offline
Updated 02-22-2013 at 07:04 PM by MA

 




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