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I'm Dying.

Posted 01-10-2011 at 09:05 AM by OddjobAbe
Or at least it fucking feels like it. The first significant event of the year has occured - I've caught a cold. I'm snotty, my ear is congested, and my cognitive faculties have been put out of action. The shop's run out of the good Beechams, so I'm stuck with the tablets (which I don't find as effective), and I can't eat without my congested ear throbbing with every bite. Feel free to take the piss out of me while I'm incapacitated, you able-bodied little sadists.

In other news, I've just finished looking at a book with lots of pictures of mountains and agricultural scenery that I was given for Christmas. I'm afraid that my state has rendered me too much of a simpleton to do any proper reading at the moment.
Total Comments 26

Comments

Old
T-nex's Avatar
You friggin made my heart beat fast when I read that title x_x
Jeez... I should stop taking titles at face value.

Uh... Feel better, ok? o.o
Posted 01-10-2011 at 09:09 AM by T-nex T-nex is offline

Old
OddjobAbe's Avatar
Quote:
You friggin made my heart beat fast when I read that title x_x
Jeez... I should stop taking titles at face value.
Well, I might well be dying. Forgive me for revealing so, but I'm certainly pissing like I've got cancer.

EDIT: I'm sure I didn't have to press "post" twice before it went through. Has it finally been fixed?
Posted 01-10-2011 at 09:14 AM by OddjobAbe OddjobAbe is offline

Old
Wil's Avatar
I really wish people wouldn't joke about dying.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 09:16 AM by Wil Wil is offline

Old
OddjobAbe's Avatar
I could have dragged it out like Mac Sirloin. What I did there was nothing.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 09:17 AM by OddjobAbe OddjobAbe is offline

Old
Pilot's Avatar
Stop being snotty.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 09:25 AM by Pilot Pilot is offline

Old
Ridg3's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Max the Mug
I really wish people wouldn't joke about dying.
This. I read the title and went, 'Blimey!'
Posted 01-10-2011 at 09:54 AM by Ridg3 Ridg3 is offline

Old
STM's Avatar
Fuck you scared me...get well soon bro
Posted 01-10-2011 at 10:36 AM by STM STM is offline

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
You've been dying since you were 25.

Just thought you should know.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 11:24 AM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
T-nex's Avatar
You've been dying since birth.

Just thought you should know.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 12:00 PM by T-nex T-nex is offline

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
That's bullshit, your body only starts to deteriorate after you stop growing?

How can you both grow and die at the same time? GOD NIKKI
Posted 01-10-2011 at 12:09 PM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
OANST's Avatar
Whore!
Posted 01-10-2011 at 12:10 PM by OANST OANST is offline

Old
T-nex's Avatar
Every day is a day closer to... the END
Posted 01-10-2011 at 12:18 PM by T-nex T-nex is offline

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
Philosophically we're all dying.

Biologically only OANST, Pilot, Oddjobabe and Nate are.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 12:44 PM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
T-nex's Avatar
Phylosophically, that's what I meant.... <.<
Posted 01-10-2011 at 01:40 PM by T-nex T-nex is offline

Old
Wil's Avatar
I can assure everyone that your body and mind start deteriorating from age 20. In fact I'm sure I went over the hill at 13.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 02:49 PM by Wil Wil is offline

Old
ziggy's Avatar
I hope my mind is deteriorating. That means I'll be happier.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 03:19 PM by ziggy ziggy is offline

Old
Mac Sirloin's Avatar
A guy I work with got sick over the course of Christmas, along with his wife. They caught a cold from what this guy described as "My brother's shitty little kids."

His wife is currently in intensive care in Toronto because she mixed Tylenol or Advil or Ibuprofen with Nyquil for two weeks. Liver failure.

So don't do that.

Anyway, get some citrus in you, drink water, rest a bunch and you'll be at full speed soon enough.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 03:20 PM by Mac Sirloin Mac Sirloin is offline

Old
OddjobAbe's Avatar
Quote:
His wife is currently in intensive care in Toronto because she mixed Tylenol or Advil or Ibuprofen with Nyquil for two weeks. Liver failure.
I would be very interested to discover what possessed her to do that. Usually when I get sick, a few glasses of orange juice and a bit of Beechams does the trick. Anything else would be superfluous.
Quote:
Anyway, get some citrus in you, drink water, rest a bunch and you'll be at full speed soon enough.
That's damn right. My health tends to rejuvenate in days if I stick to a good glass of orange. Fantastic stuff.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 03:49 PM by OddjobAbe OddjobAbe is offline

Old
Mac Sirloin's Avatar
I always make a concoction of just-squeezed Lime juice, Lemon juice and Orange Juice, then give it some pure Cranberry juice (the unsweetened stuff) to even things out. It's both a nightmare and a dream come true.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 04:28 PM by Mac Sirloin Mac Sirloin is offline

Old
OddjobAbe's Avatar
I might give that a try at some stage, if only to see how it tastes.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 04:59 PM by OddjobAbe OddjobAbe is offline

Old
Mac Sirloin's Avatar
I won't patronize you by expelling the science behind it, but the cranberry juice is key. I think.

Also, I don't really have any measurements. You just ingest a shitload of vitamin C and let the Cranberry cleanse you. You could probably mix in some kind of generic fruit juice to make it a bit less 'A gigantic cup of sour and citrus'.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 06:29 PM by Mac Sirloin Mac Sirloin is offline

Old
Pilot's Avatar
Quote:
Usually when I get sick, a few glasses of orange juice and a bit of Beechams does the trick. Anything else would be superfluous.
Don't forget Intoxicating.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 07:23 PM by Pilot Pilot is offline

Old
ziggy's Avatar
Weird, I've probably mixed tylenol and nyquil before, but not for two weeks. Hope you get better Oddjob.
Posted 01-10-2011 at 08:11 PM by ziggy ziggy is offline

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MA's Avatar
get well, you old bastard.

at least you haven't got speedy shit, eh?
Posted 01-10-2011 at 11:04 PM by MA MA is offline

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OddjobAbe's Avatar
That's certainly one consolation.
Posted 01-11-2011 at 01:04 AM by OddjobAbe OddjobAbe is offline

Old
Alcar's Avatar
I was under the impression that males reach their "peak" at 25 - therefore surely deterioration would commence after 25?

Alcar...
Posted 01-11-2011 at 06:48 AM by Alcar Alcar is offline

 

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