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I, BM

299 792 458 ms^−1 6.67384(80)10−11 mkg^−1s−2 6.626 069 57(29) 10^−34 Js 1.054 571 726(47) 10^−34 Js 4π 10^−7 NA^−2 = 1.256 637 061... 10^−6 NA^−2 8.854 187 817... 10^−12 Fm−1 376.730 313 461... Ω 8.987 551 787... 109 NmC^−2 1.602 176 565(35) 10^−19 C 9.274 009 68(20) 10^−24 JT^−1 7.748 091 7346(25) 10^−5 S 12 906.403 7217(42) Ω 4.835 978 70(11) 10^14 HzV−1 2.067 833 758(46) 10^−15 Wb 5.050 783 53(11) 10^−27 JT^−1 25 812.807 4434(84) Ω 5.291 772 1092(17) 10^−11 m 2.817 940 3267(27) 10^−15 m 9.109 382 91(40) 10^−31 kg 1.166 364(5) 10^−5 GeV^−2 7.297 352 5698(24) 10^−3 4.359 744 34(19) 10^−18 J 1.672 621 777(74) 10^−27 kg 3.636 947 5520(24) 10^−4 m s^−1 10 973 731.568 539(55) m^−1 6.652 458 734(13) 10^−29 m 0.2223(21) 1.660 538 921(73) 10^−27 kg 6.022 141 29(27) 10^23 mol^−1

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My First Inquisitor

Posted 01-25-2013 at 03:49 PM by Bullet Magnet
After many years of failed persuasion attempts, I finally decided that I did want to play Inquisitor after all.

It's essentially a small-scale D&D type game, but utilising the Warhammer 40,000 universe.

I had a great time constructing my character, but ultimately the GM vetoes my million-tentacled warp-thing that wielded Orks as melee weapons and had a gun that utilised the Lost Primarchs as ammunition.

So there it was. Stuart, James, Foxxy and myself. I had opted to play as a Kroot mercenary, since I'm pretty grossed out by humanity in the forty-first millennium. He wielding a Kroot rifle that doubles as a halberd in melee, with a knife as a back-up, high speed, and several acrobatic, close-combat and sensory perks.


Like this, but brown.

Stuart took a low-level psyker who wielded an actual halberd, with powers he wouldn't let me see.


Like this, but less good.

James took a grizzled old guy who either had a serious limp or crude bionic legs, bringing into battle an old-school shotgun and revolver.


But in the future.

Foxy rolled a psyker whose powers apparently manifested in the form of ice, or as I call it, "cryogenesis". I didn't really get it given the setting, but apparently cold is a potential manifestation of the warp so I went with it.


Yeah.

The scenario: each of us had been employed to recover an unknown artefact from some esoteric location by different noble families of the Imperium. There were three chests on top of some kind of blocks or industrial container, one of which contained the relic, though which one was unknown. They were arranged in a line, each of the three blocks had a ladder and were connected to one another by a bridge. there were two rows of barrels adjacent to the blocks, one on each side, which a central gap in each bridged by ladder or walkway. My Kroot started at one end of the blocks, Ice King at the opposite end, and through the barrels on either side came Stuart's psyker and James' Clarkson.

My initiative was highest and therefore I could go first, but I had no idea what I was doing so I let the others have their turn first so I could get into the swing of it. James limped into the playing area and immediately knocked over the barrels due to his own clumsiness, making a mess, a racket and clobbering his good leg. Everyone else immediately heard him except for me, with a combination of my superior Kroot hearing and the first of several terrible rolls.

Stuart advanced much more carefully from the opposite side and, having heard the noise, successfully turned himself intangible with his warp powers in preparation for any hostile engagements.

Foxy approached the ladder to the container on the opposite side from me, but accidentally frosted it up and slid off.

Finally ready to embark, my Kroot scaled the nearest block in a single leap and opened the chest, finding it empty. Annoyed, I ducked behind it as cover and sniffed the air for adversaries, all of whom had heard the click of the lock. Detecting a presences, I activated my motion-tracker auspex and located the characters of James and Stuart on opposite sides of the middle block. I readied my Kroot rifle and aimed at the top of the block on the side of Stuart's auspex blip in case anyone climbed up.

Which he did. Using the boxes and barrels stacked up against it (the ladder was on Jame's side) he carefully clambered up. Whereupon I shot him. Not recognising the human's ethereal glow, my Kroot aimed an placed a crack shot right through the middle of his head. It plinged harmlessly on the Titanium steel in front of the psyker's face and alerted everyone in the room. Fortunately my Kroot had enough sense to realise that he had actually hit his target and the failure to cause so much as a scratch may be linked to the peculiar glowing of his target. He calmly reloaded and took aim again, in case the glowing dissipated.

Which it did, next turn. Stuart failed to maintain his instability and it flickered off. I immediately fired, putting a round right through his abdomen. He limped behind that block's chest before I could shoot him again. Knowing he was hurt but not certain how hurt, my Kroot elected to pursue in close combat, so ran and leaped across the gap between blocks, through my duff roll meant he missed and found himself hanging from the edge with his nose in the psyker's blood. Who himself was attempting to use his psyker powers to regenerate his wounds, succeeding only in giving himself a nosebleed. But I did at least acquire Stuart's scent, gaining permanent awareness of his location.

It was at this point that Ice King had gotten to the third container and found the relic inside. And also set off all the alarms, which surprised him enough to have him cowering behind the box for several turns. James' desperado limped off in that direction below Stuart and I. My Kroot had climbed back up, but another duff roll meant that in doing so he'd cut his leg on the blade of his rifle somehow. His charge into combat was hampered by yet another duff roll, negating pretty much all possible advantage and turning what should have been a blood bath into a sordid affair in which only my Kroot suffered any actual damage, slicing a flesh wound into his right arm. That was fine until Ice King shot me with an ice spike, severely injuring the same arm and causing me to drop my rifle. Annoyingly my buckler was worn on the other side. Stuart then tried to regenerate again and turn his instability back on, but only made his nosebleed worse. I can relate.

Ice King then pushed the now empty chest off of the block, destroying the bridge between his block and mine. Not a problem for me, I could jump it. But the blood squirting from Stuart's nose and the injuries I'd sustained drove me into a frenzy. With my good arm (the left) I drew my knife and savagely attacked him. He just managed to fend off the first flurry, then leaped sideways off of the block to escape. He missed the boxes and landed on the floor, breaking his arm. Once again he tried to regenerate and turn intangible, and began bleeding profusely from his eyes for his trouble.

I leapt down on top of him and bit a great chunk out of his wounded belly, healing myself in the process. Kroot always consume their fallen enemies and comrades after combat. Usually they wait for them to die first (they're not savages), but I was wounded and wanted my arm to work again. I'd combined a few special abilities rules so that I'd regain health and injury levels by consuming fallen characters.

Then came a series of utterly disastrous rolls for everyone that I can only call The Fail Cascade.

Ice King came face to face with James' shotgun, and while trying to protect himself with ice attacks on managed to freeze himself within a pillar of ice. Meanwhile Stuart's psyker tried to psychically regenerate again, causing an explosion that injured him further and very nearly hurt my Kroot. Who, still hungry, went for the bleeding psyker once more, missed entirely and got a mouthful of halberd instead, which wasn't even being used in defence: it was entirely my own doing. With broken halberd blade stuck in my head I was stunned for three turns. During these three turns:

Foxy's Ice King remained trapped in ice.

James used up all of his shotgun ammunition fruitlessly trying to blast his way into said ice.

Stuart slowly crawled away, bleeding profusely and losing consciousness.

And I could do nothing but laugh.

Once my Kroot regained his senses he pulled the shards out of his mouth, strode over to Stuart, ripped his arm off and ate it completely. Ice King broke free of the ice, engaged an ammo-less James in close combat and ran him through with ice spikes. The GM decided Stuart had suffered enough and declared that some hitherto unknown psychic blood power that grew in strength with injury which activated on the brink of death, woke him up and with a few successful rolls allowed him to escape the tabletop, one-armed, to fight again in a future campaign (presumably with a new bionic or mutant arm). My dinner gone, frenzy passed and injured arm rejuvenated, I hopped back onto the block, recovered my rifle, leaped across to the last block and took aim at the fleeing Ice King, who was escaping with the relic. Then I remembered I still needed to reload, damn! I took aim again, he was pretty far away by now, and fired.

I missed.

Foxy won, at the cost of James' life and Stuart's arm. I at least had ameliorated all of my injuries on the field, though my pride may never recover. That halberd nonsense was some pretty bullshit.

But whatever, I had a great time. I can't wait to play again.
Posted in Garbage
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Total Comments 28

Comments

Old
MeechMunchie's Avatar
I remember when White Dwarf used to do these write-ups. I've still got my old manual somewhere, and man the fluff text is good.
Posted 01-26-2013 at 03:09 AM by MeechMunchie MeechMunchie is offline

Old
STM's Avatar
I had a go at Inquisitor at the very start of last year. I got creeped out and gave up when the only female 40k player I've even seen in my life tried to strike up a love story between her character and my ork.

Also because I hardly knew what I was doing.
Posted 01-26-2013 at 03:57 AM by STM STM is offline

Old
OANST's Avatar
I stopped reading at D & D, and Warhammer.
Posted 01-26-2013 at 07:58 AM by OANST OANST is offline

Old
Sekto Springs's Avatar
Are you guys allergic to vaginas?
Posted 01-26-2013 at 11:36 AM by Sekto Springs Sekto Springs is offline

Old
STM's Avatar
Well something in a vagina made it hurt when I pissed so maybe...
Posted 01-26-2013 at 12:16 PM by STM STM is offline

Old
Nepsotic's Avatar
What are vaginas?
Posted 01-26-2013 at 12:29 PM by Nepsotic Nepsotic is offline

Old
mr.odd's Avatar
You should try Dark Heresy. It's essentially church cops in space. It's hella fun and just utterly hilarious to play. My friend rolled random for his character and ended up with a beefy Pskyer that had more muscles than brains. He also freaked out every time someone said Holy Terra. Which was funny, because we also had a priest with us.

He would also continually screw up our combat with his 'powers'. He blinded us several times, fazed out of time for half the game, and almost became a Daemon host.
Posted 01-26-2013 at 12:30 PM by mr.odd mr.odd is offline

Old
Bullet Magnet's Avatar
Quote:
Are you guys allergic to vaginas?
We were originally going to play last weekend with several girls counted in our number, but we opted for Halo instead.

Regardless, I abandoned that possibility a long time ago.
Posted 01-26-2013 at 12:55 PM by Bullet Magnet Bullet Magnet is offline

Old
STM's Avatar
Damn it BM just go to a club!
Posted 01-26-2013 at 01:41 PM by STM STM is offline

Old
MeechMunchie's Avatar
Quote:
Damn it, BM, just go get a club!
Fixed.
Posted 01-26-2013 at 05:24 PM by MeechMunchie MeechMunchie is offline

Old
mr.odd's Avatar
Meech is a true ladies man.
Posted 01-26-2013 at 07:07 PM by mr.odd mr.odd is offline

Old
STM's Avatar
Or a true lady man.
Posted 01-27-2013 at 05:44 AM by STM STM is offline

Old
Varrok's Avatar
He's a true lady, man
Posted 01-27-2013 at 06:14 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline

Old
Sekto Springs's Avatar
Yeah, I've seen the kind of girls that play Warhammer. I'd rather have sex with rusty fish scaler.

I used to paint and customize Warhammer figures. Very relaxing way to spend a few hours. These days, my hands are so tremolo I doubt I could paint with the same precision.
Posted 01-27-2013 at 10:30 AM by Sekto Springs Sekto Springs is offline

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
Oh give it a rest Sekto.

Virgin nerds hur hur hur hurrrrrrrrururr

PS: I don't like either component of Inquisitor or the combined product
Posted 01-27-2013 at 10:37 AM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
Sekto Springs's Avatar
Posted 01-27-2013 at 10:42 AM by Sekto Springs Sekto Springs is offline

Old
Bullet Magnet's Avatar
We didn't have any models, we just used whatever there was to hand.

Last weekend we were all going to play D&D together until we realised that it required substantially more preparation than Inquisitor. The book belonged to one of the girls, who was very attractive and very spoken for.
Posted 01-27-2013 at 02:14 PM by Bullet Magnet Bullet Magnet is offline

Old
MeechMunchie's Avatar
Maybe she was slumming it.
Posted 01-27-2013 at 03:56 PM by MeechMunchie MeechMunchie is offline

Old
Bullet Magnet's Avatar
I don't know what that means.
Posted 01-27-2013 at 06:02 PM by Bullet Magnet Bullet Magnet is offline

Old
Sekto Springs's Avatar
It's when attractive or well-off men/women share in inferior company to give themselves an ego boost, or to snag a sure-thing.

Example: Olly is slumming it every time she visits OWF, because she feeds on the energy emitted by all of your virtual boners.
Posted 01-28-2013 at 09:32 AM by Sekto Springs Sekto Springs is offline
Updated 01-28-2013 at 10:02 AM by Sekto Springs

Old
STM's Avatar
'all of your?'

You know you're very much included in that demographic simply for being a part of this festering speculum.
Posted 01-28-2013 at 09:48 AM by STM STM is offline

Old
Sekto Springs's Avatar
Well, of course. OWF is a slum and I choose to be here (for reasons I still don't fully understand). I do enjoy watching the hetero members clumsily and transparently flirt with her during those brief periods where she shows up.
Posted 01-28-2013 at 09:59 AM by Sekto Springs Sekto Springs is offline
Updated 01-28-2013 at 10:02 AM by Sekto Springs

Old
STM's Avatar
Hmm I never noticed that.

I can't wait for Vyrien and Skillya Queen to post in WDYLL then...
Posted 01-28-2013 at 10:05 AM by STM STM is offline
Updated 01-28-2013 at 10:07 AM by STM

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
What's it called when someone who has had sex makes a thing about reminding a forum full of mostly older teenagers that they haven't?
Posted 01-28-2013 at 12:46 PM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
Or, to cut out the passive aggressiveness, Chris you are either full of shit or yourself right now. Which is it? More importantly, what's the difference?
Posted 01-28-2013 at 12:47 PM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
Sekto Springs's Avatar
You'll never know!
Posted 01-28-2013 at 01:43 PM by Sekto Springs Sekto Springs is offline
Updated 01-28-2013 at 01:48 PM by Sekto Springs

Old
MeechMunchie's Avatar
I'm on OWF because I like most of the people here. But I guess that's just not cool.
Posted 01-28-2013 at 11:46 PM by MeechMunchie MeechMunchie is offline

Old
T-nex's Avatar
I never considered OWF a slum. That's a strange thing to do.
Posted 01-29-2013 at 10:37 AM by T-nex T-nex is offline

 

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