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I, BM

299 792 458 ms^−1 6.67384(80)10−11 mkg^−1s−2 6.626 069 57(29) 10^−34 Js 1.054 571 726(47) 10^−34 Js 4π 10^−7 NA^−2 = 1.256 637 061... 10^−6 NA^−2 8.854 187 817... 10^−12 Fm−1 376.730 313 461... Ω 8.987 551 787... 109 NmC^−2 1.602 176 565(35) 10^−19 C 9.274 009 68(20) 10^−24 JT^−1 7.748 091 7346(25) 10^−5 S 12 906.403 7217(42) Ω 4.835 978 70(11) 10^14 HzV−1 2.067 833 758(46) 10^−15 Wb 5.050 783 53(11) 10^−27 JT^−1 25 812.807 4434(84) Ω 5.291 772 1092(17) 10^−11 m 2.817 940 3267(27) 10^−15 m 9.109 382 91(40) 10^−31 kg 1.166 364(5) 10^−5 GeV^−2 7.297 352 5698(24) 10^−3 4.359 744 34(19) 10^−18 J 1.672 621 777(74) 10^−27 kg 3.636 947 5520(24) 10^−4 m s^−1 10 973 731.568 539(55) m^−1 6.652 458 734(13) 10^−29 m 0.2223(21) 1.660 538 921(73) 10^−27 kg 6.022 141 29(27) 10^23 mol^−1

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Not sure how to deal with this.

Posted 04-27-2013 at 06:47 PM by Bullet Magnet
It's 3:47 am. I'm in bed, in my jammies, blogging because it's all I can think to do. My bed is covered in shit. My room is covered in shit. There's a wild pigeon in here looking at me. I only just noticed this. I am too tired to chase it around right now, and I know that if I try it's just going to shit all over everything even more. The way the windows work it won't get out by itself. I just want to go back to sleep and deal with this in the morning, except that it is in my bedroom with me RIGHT NOW and oh hey it just did another shit.

What do?
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Total Comments 38

Comments

Old
Slog Bait's Avatar
Make a peashooter

Shoot peas at it
Posted 04-27-2013 at 07:21 PM by Slog Bait Slog Bait is offline

Old
Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Speaking as someone with a lot of experience letting animals into my home by accident;

Throw a towel or a sheet or extra large sweater over it, bundle that up and toss it outside. If you live in an Apartment/Flat try and shake it out of an open window.
Posted 04-27-2013 at 07:39 PM by Mac Sirloin Mac Sirloin is offline

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DarkHoodness's Avatar
That's a bit bizarre.

Assuming you've dealt with it by now (been nearly 2 hours), you may have a better chance of rescuing your bedsheets/any soiled clothing from permanent staining if you wash that shit immediately (hah) and not leave it until later in the morning... That stuff is nasty.
Posted 04-27-2013 at 08:44 PM by DarkHoodness DarkHoodness is offline

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Nate's Avatar
Why was it easier to post on OWF than to shoo the pigeon out?
Posted 04-27-2013 at 09:10 PM by Nate Nate is offline

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Varrok's Avatar
Posting on OWF is the easiest and laziest thing to do. Always
Posted 04-28-2013 at 12:00 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline

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Bullet Magnet's Avatar
It's morning now. My attempts have failed amazingly. As of this moment there are two pigeons in my room.
Posted 04-28-2013 at 12:08 AM by Bullet Magnet Bullet Magnet is offline

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Varrok's Avatar
Have you considered closing some of the windows, so it'd keep the rest of pigeons from getting there?
Posted 04-28-2013 at 12:12 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline

Old
STM's Avatar
Cleanse the room with fire?

e: I'm guessing diplomacy has failed, pigeons don't speak owl right?
Posted 04-28-2013 at 12:28 AM by STM STM is offline

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Varrok's Avatar
If that's of any help, there will be a time when they stop shitting all by themselves. (DON'T FEED THEM)
Posted 04-28-2013 at 12:36 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline

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Nepsotic's Avatar
Fumigate
Posted 04-28-2013 at 12:55 AM by Nepsotic Nepsotic is offline

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Manco's Avatar
See if you can lure them into an open oven. Pigeon is edible,you know.
Posted 04-28-2013 at 01:26 AM by Manco Manco is offline

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STM's Avatar
Posted 04-28-2013 at 03:31 AM by STM STM is offline

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Jbot123's Avatar
Eat the pigeons alive. It works.
Posted 04-28-2013 at 05:32 AM by Jbot123 Jbot123 is offline

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Varrok's Avatar
Hey, how are you holding up, BM?


...


...Hey, are you ok?
Bullet Magnet? Respond! BULLEEEEEEET MAGNEEEET
Posted 04-28-2013 at 06:31 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline

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MeechMunchie's Avatar
I woke up to find a big thrush flapping around my room once. Similar to Mac's advice, I trapped it with an overturned wire mesh bin, flipped it over, threw a jumper over the top and proceeded to shake the entire bundle out of an open skylight. The somewhat concussed bird proceeded to roll down the roof, before uprighting itself and taking off after it came to rest in the guttering.
Posted 04-28-2013 at 06:44 AM by MeechMunchie MeechMunchie is offline

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DarkHoodness's Avatar
Reminds me of when my cat caught a live bat (he's only done this once) and released it into my room. Also used a wire bin to trap it with when it was scuttling around on the floor - Although I simply impaled the bin on a tree, and the bat eventually flew off on its own accord.

It's always fun being invaded by birds... They mostly have the sense to fly out of open windows/doors on their own though.
Posted 04-28-2013 at 08:18 AM by DarkHoodness DarkHoodness is offline

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STM's Avatar
For all we know, BM still hasn't got them out...

there's probably two more now as well, he's amassing an army.
Posted 04-28-2013 at 10:34 AM by STM STM is offline

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Wings of Fire's Avatar
Just his luck. He finally starts to amass a loyal army and it all goes to shit.
Posted 04-28-2013 at 11:34 AM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

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Varrok's Avatar
Posted 04-28-2013 at 12:02 PM by Varrok Varrok is offline

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Wings of Fire's Avatar
Needs more boiling
Posted 04-28-2013 at 12:28 PM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

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Manco's Avatar
Its been hours since BM last updated us.






Dibs on his stuff.

(the stuff that isnt covered in shit)
Posted 04-28-2013 at 12:52 PM by Manco Manco is offline

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MeechMunchie's Avatar
I think it's technically the pigeons' stuff now.
Posted 04-28-2013 at 01:15 PM by MeechMunchie MeechMunchie is offline

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STM's Avatar
I'm assuming that at this point, Marcus is fashioning a headdress made from owl feathers while his pigeon minions build him a throne caked in bird shite.
Posted 04-28-2013 at 01:29 PM by STM STM is offline

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Bullet Magnet's Avatar
help
Posted 04-28-2013 at 04:48 PM by Bullet Magnet Bullet Magnet is offline

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Nate's Avatar
I'm not sure if Wil reads blogs or not, but this seems like a perfect opportunity for him to utilize his army of cats. Imagine BM's gratitude at being saved.
Posted 04-29-2013 at 03:08 AM by Nate Nate is offline

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Jbot123's Avatar
Bullet Magnet, ever seen "The Birds"?
Posted 04-29-2013 at 03:11 AM by Jbot123 Jbot123 is offline

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Manco's Avatar
How long until BM just starts posting like this?
Posted 04-29-2013 at 09:21 AM by Manco Manco is offline

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Mr. Bungle's Avatar
rip
Posted 04-29-2013 at 09:28 AM by Mr. Bungle Mr. Bungle is offline

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Bullet Magnet's Avatar
he is ours now do not come for him
Posted 04-29-2013 at 11:02 AM by Bullet Magnet Bullet Magnet is offline

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Crashpunk's Avatar
A moment of silence please.

Also I'm waiting for BM avatar to change into a pigeon...
Posted 04-29-2013 at 11:10 AM by Crashpunk Crashpunk is offline

 

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