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I've Unofficially Left OWF I Guess

Posted 09-20-2015 at 04:08 PM by MeechMunchie
Updated 09-20-2015 at 04:37 PM by MeechMunchie
It's been 50 or so days since I last posted, and I've rarely felt the need to check back. When I do, I usually just kinda look at the front page and close the tab again. I always wondered which of us would go first, OWF, and I guess it's me; though judging by the state of you it's a purely Pyrrhic victory. I'll lurk around the blog list until Alcar finally pulls the plug, I guess. Never did get to #1 in rep. C'est la vie.

Me and Ginny gave things another shot a few weeks later and have now been in a stable-ish relationship for three months. I decided to keep my private affairs more private. The good days are great. The bad days suck balls. I'm better with her, she's better with me, we look after each other and I care about her very much. Our lofty ideals are now propped up with an actual rapport, hurrah.
But I know that some day I'll need to crash around and get laid and make all the mistakes young people make just because that's the only way I'll learn about me, other people, what I need and what I want, and perversely I can't really do that when I'm scared of bruising the light of my life in the process.
I want to stay with her forever, but... forever later. Maybe that's greedy. I'm not rushing into any decisions on that front; the day-to-day dynamic is still lovely. We've still got a lot of happy times ahead before any serious discussions need to happen. It still nags at me, though.

I've moved to Bristol and started the next three years of my life in earnest (Fine Art degree). I have friends, lectures, a studio, and rent to pay. How validating. Good fun so far, but only a week in so fuck knows how it'll turn out.

I'm 21 in April. I have a couple of permanent wrinkles. A large proportion of the girls I know want to fuck me. The guy in the mirror finally looks like an adult. Scary.

My bowels are getting better. Now that I cook my own meals I can actually control what I eat. It's going well.

I still hate my brain, but I signed up for therapy at uni and I'm officially conceding on my "no mind-altering pills" policy. I'm broken, but not irreparably. My depression keeps making things seem wrong and hollow when they're fine. My anxiety makes me think I'm being a terrible selfish unreasonable cunt when I'm actually behaving quite sensibly. I have a paranoid distrust of my own thoughts, that's been persistent for many years, and it needs adressing really before I come to any major conclusions on anything (including the Ginny stuff). You have to clean the windows before you landscape your garden, so to speak. So off to the shrink I go, and hopefully I can trust myself by this time next year.

I'm having a spell of depression right now, if you haven't noticed. I'm fuzzy and numb and oh-so pithy and jaded. Do I sound older? I feel older.

You know what? Ask Me Anything, for old time's sake. If there's one thing I've learned over the past few years, it's that real life doesn't have neat endings. It drags, stutters and eventually cuts out mid-swing. May as well embrace it.

Shoot.
Total Comments 22

Comments

Old
Phylum's Avatar
I'm feeling more and more like I'm done with this place too
Posted 09-20-2015 at 05:11 PM by Phylum Phylum is offline

Old
Varrok's Avatar
Who was phone?
Posted 09-21-2015 at 12:13 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline

Old
Crashpunk's Avatar
I've been checking the forums daily ever since I joined and noticed less and less activity over the years. It's really sad to see.

It's only natural though. People are growing older and moving on with their lives. The only reasons why I'm sticking around still is well 1, Some of you guys are still here and 2, my life hasn't really dramatically changed in YEARS. And judging the way I live currently, It won't.

Essentially, I'll leave when everyone else has.


So Meech. I think with you. You've got to take things as they come and not worry so much about the future. You've taken a lot in in a short space of time. It's no wonder everything feels up in the air at the minute.

And You've always come across as the very opposite of what you describe yourself as. I've never not once thought ill of you. Nor I doubt anyone on here as too. Just remember that.

Happy to hear about you and Ginny. Sounds like you both help each other out a lot. I hope everything works out dude.

Oh and stick around will ya?
Posted 09-21-2015 at 02:04 PM by Crashpunk Crashpunk is offline

Old
MeechMunchie's Avatar
Quote:
Who was phone?
Probably someone else's dad who dialled a wrong number.
Posted 09-21-2015 at 02:12 PM by MeechMunchie MeechMunchie is offline

Old
MA's Avatar
it's good to hear from you, friend. i hope you and your girl have a happy life together and i wish you luck.

i've been feeling the same way about this place too, by the way, but i don't think i'll ever truly leave. i just don't like to post so much anymore. i genuinely enjoy conversing with all of you and love to hear about your lives though. especially you, MM. we've been friends since the day we first spoke, my silly tantrums aside. you've been my best buddy here for a long time and i will always remember you. you've helped me out loads of times by just being there when i needed someone to talk to. sounds stupid but you actually inspire me. you are a good man, and i've enjoyed all of our online escapades. i've had a lot of laughs with you. i know you're not officially leaving or anything but this all comes from the heart, and i feel you need to know it.

best of luck, buddy! i'll always be hanging around here somewhere, reliving old memories. i feel like a fucking war veteran or something. anyway, much love to you. xxxxx
Posted 09-21-2015 at 04:57 PM by MA MA is offline

Old
Varrok's Avatar
Quote:
Probably someone else's dad who dialled a wrong number.
Oooooh, I get it now. Thanks.
Posted 09-22-2015 at 12:08 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline

Old
Jordan's Avatar
I hope you have an awesome time at uni. As retarded and snowflakey as it sounds, there's a good chance you will learn a great deal about yourself in these 3 years.

I haven't been the most active person these past couple of years on here but recently I am not enjoying being around. Whenever I come on here I have thoughts of leaving for a while, maybe even a long time. A few members make it very unpleasant to be around and it's getting worse and worse.
Posted 09-22-2015 at 07:14 AM by Jordan Jordan is offline

Old
Crashpunk's Avatar
It's the constant snarky and sarcastic remarks which effect me. We've all took part in time and again sure, But now; We can't have a thread without someone being a dick for the sake of just being a dick. Whether or not it's a joke. It's actually becomes really irritating to read.

No wonder people give us a bad rep. No wonder OWI and JAW are sworn away from this place.
Posted 09-22-2015 at 01:24 PM by Crashpunk Crashpunk is offline

Old
Jordan's Avatar
Quote:
It's the constant snarky and sarcastic remarks which effect me. We've all took part in time and again sure, But now; We can't have a thread without someone being a dick for the sake of just being a dick. Whether or not it's a joke. It's actually becomes really irritating to read.
Exactly. I'm all for sarcasm and #banter (ughh) but some people are downright unpleasant and it's tiring. Blog posts are pretty much the only content I enjoy reading because they contain (mostly) meaningful and candid comments.
Posted 09-22-2015 at 01:30 PM by Jordan Jordan is offline

Old
Crashpunk's Avatar
I dunno what's the plan is for this forum. Let it just slowly fizzle into the background? or actually start to reform it so then it's a more friendly place for newcomers.

After all. This is The Oddworld Forums. Fans of the series and newcomers might want to check this place out now Oddworld is back on the scene. (I know I've been saying that since we first heard about Abe HD, but it still applies).

Also. How many active mods do we have nowadays? It seems a lot less than before. I haven't seen WoF, Splat, Dripik and Wil around here in ages. No disrespect to Nate or Xavier. I'm thankful you guys are still here.
Posted 09-22-2015 at 01:44 PM by Crashpunk Crashpunk is offline
Updated 09-22-2015 at 01:48 PM by Crashpunk

Old
Varrok's Avatar
I certainly wouldn't visit OWF that often if it didn't allow me to act naturally (a.k.a. being sarcastic whenever I feel like it). It was, like, one of the main reasons I keep posting here. And I don't mind other people acting like it, as long as they put thought behind it and it doesn't sound childish.

We don't get that much mod action nowadays because it's not needed as much. There is not much traffic here and we rarely do anything crazy.
Posted 09-22-2015 at 02:13 PM by Varrok Varrok is offline

Old
Slog Bait's Avatar
tbh I would visit here much more often if this forum were 1) more active, 2) not so ready to shit on people for liking what this forum is literally dedicated for, and 3) more active

Did I mention I'd visit more if this forum were more active because I totally would I thrive on active communities
Posted 09-22-2015 at 06:58 PM by Slog Bait Slog Bait is offline

Old
Mr. Bungle's Avatar
I'm sad now
Posted 09-22-2015 at 07:05 PM by Mr. Bungle Mr. Bungle is offline

Old
Nepsotic's Avatar
Quote:
A few members make it very unpleasant to be around and it's getting worse and worse.
HMM, I WONDER WHO
Quote:
i'll always be hanging around here somewhere, reliving old memories. i feel like a fucking war veteran or something
I can imagine you and I will be the only two active members left on the forum in a couple of years. Making threads talking about old times until one of us dies, and I have to bury you.
Posted 09-22-2015 at 07:48 PM by Nepsotic Nepsotic is offline

Old
MA's Avatar
better bury me somewhere nice, damn it.
Posted 09-23-2015 at 03:06 PM by MA MA is offline

Old
Mr. Bungle's Avatar
i'll never leave, i just rarely have anything worth posting nowadays
Posted 09-23-2015 at 08:06 PM by Mr. Bungle Mr. Bungle is offline
Updated 09-23-2015 at 08:20 PM by Mr. Bungle

Old
Holy Sock's Avatar
I've been here since 2010 and I've barely made an impression. I just like to talk about Oddworld and read the latest drama with you crazy regulars.
Posted 09-24-2015 at 10:46 AM by Holy Sock Holy Sock is offline

Old
Varrok's Avatar
I'm here since 2009 and everybody likes me, because of how fun of a guy I am.

Except for Nate... sorry for that pig sound joke in Doctor Who thread.
Posted 09-24-2015 at 01:13 PM by Varrok Varrok is offline

Old
Nepsotic's Avatar
I don't like you. I've been lurking on OddChat for two weeks and I think the sleep deprivation is really setting in. Look, I even made you this


By the way, did anyone else just see that pink elephant?
Posted 09-24-2015 at 02:49 PM by Nepsotic Nepsotic is offline
Updated 09-24-2015 at 02:58 PM by Nepsotic

Old
Varrok's Avatar
Well I looked at OddChat yesterday for 10 seconds and I was the only one there at that time.

You weren't active there enough.

Also, you were meant to pick the time. And tell me.
Posted 09-25-2015 at 01:00 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline

Old
Nepsotic's Avatar
That specific 10 seconds is when I had to go get my rice pudding from the microwave, I'd bet.
Well, I'm gonna actually lurk on there now so whenever is good.
Posted 09-25-2015 at 02:22 AM by Nepsotic Nepsotic is offline

Old
dripik's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crashpunk
Also. How many active mods do we have nowadays? It seems a lot less than before. I haven't seen WoF, Splat, Dripik and Wil around here in ages.
I can't say FC requires a lot of moderation nowadays. Someone occasionally makes a thread about their art of replies to someone else's, then nothing happens. From what I know, Splat is busy with work too, and I have a lot to do that diverts my attention from my former creative projects like comics.
Posted 09-28-2015 at 03:07 AM by dripik dripik is offline

 




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