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Bullying at Work?..

Posted 02-12-2013 at 02:21 AM by AvengingGibbons
Updated 02-12-2013 at 02:30 AM by AvengingGibbons
I first must say that I suffer from social anxiety, depression and BDD. I 've had to endure varying levels of what I consider to be bullying during the time I've been an employee at my place of work.

Because I suffer anxiety, it's difficult to know when the 'bullying' goes too far because Obviously I am overly sensitive. Having said this, I think it's probably plain to see that I'm in discomfort when some bullying behavior is taking place.

Because of something minor I said to a colleague a few weeks ago, he didnt hesitate to warn a couple others that they must 'stand with their backs to the wall when I'm around.' (I am gay, but am not out at all, especially not at work! And I've never had relationships or anything sexual with anyone because of my mental health issues.)

So, I've had to take these comments off mainly one individual pretty much at least once per shift I've worked for the past couple weeks. The comments are like 'Ooh, John, you wanna watch out for [AvengingGibbons], I hear he likes batting for the other team' and theyve been said when I've been in the canteen on my break. It causes me to blush and almost suffer a panick attack.

What would you do if you were me?

EDIT: Somebody else tells me pretty much everytime he sees me that I look stoned. I've been to amsterdam and had cannibis there, but I don't do drugs. I find it offensive and upsetting to be told I look stoned, I think what he's seeing is the effects of my anxiety and depression. He's told me I sound like I'm stoned aswell. I absolutely hate him with a passion. He's a slobbish smart arse arragant shit.
Total Comments 26

Comments

Old
Slog Bait's Avatar
I am complete shit at advice, but dude, don't stand for that kind of harassment. Can't you report it?

And heck, you don't have to be a damn bit ashamed of what you are and what you've done. Strut into that work place with full confidence and just ignore the fuckers nasty words. Christ, he's a grown ass adult acting like a fucking highschooler.

If your other coworkers have even half a mind they'll ignore his bullshit and dismiss him exactly as that. A slobbish, smart assed, arrogant piece of shit.

ASDjkghjawngjkslasofiuhujjk people
Posted 02-12-2013 at 03:13 AM by Slog Bait Slog Bait is offline

Old
Nate's Avatar
If I were you, I'd tell them to shut the fuck up. But then, I'm not you and I don't know whether your anxiety will allow you to do that. Is there someone you do feel comfortable talking to, who would then go talk to those guys and tell them to shut the fuck up?
Posted 02-12-2013 at 03:17 AM by Nate Nate is offline

Old
AvengingGibbons's Avatar
My anxiety would make that difficult, Nate. I don't want to report them because nothing ever gets treated seriously and it just lands you yourself in deeper shit. If I could handle the stresses of reporting someone and be able to voice my views confidently then maybe I'd do this, but I'm not hard enough.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 03:56 AM by AvengingGibbons AvengingGibbons is offline

Old
Slog Bait's Avatar
Really, I think the first step would be finding a way to deal with your anxiety. If you're able to, try to find a counselor of some sort who deals with things like social anxieties. It might do wonders for you in situations like this.

You can't let your anxieties or depression rule you. It's very, very difficult not to, but you've still got to try. Even the tiniest bit of effort can make a huge difference.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 04:14 AM by Slog Bait Slog Bait is offline

Old
AvengingGibbons's Avatar
I've had counselling for over a year, I finished during summer last year, there is nothing more to be counselled for. My problems still exist. I was on medication, I voluntarily came off that just before xmas, then my mum tried topping herself, so that's gone to shit coz I had no chance of maintaining a low level of stress/anxiety once she'd done that. So yesterday, I had my first tablet (that I've still got leftover) in like 2months because I just felt so low. Over the next few weeks hopefully the tablets will calm me down and I might feel more able to talk back to these arseholes at work
Posted 02-12-2013 at 04:33 AM by AvengingGibbons AvengingGibbons is offline
Updated 02-12-2013 at 04:37 AM by AvengingGibbons

Old
OANST's Avatar
In the case of the dude who says you look stoned, lighten the fuck up. Why would you hate someone because they say you look stoned? Don't be silly.

In the case of the others, that is just plain harassment, and you should report them to HR.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 06:13 AM by OANST OANST is offline

Old
STM's Avatar
I guess you should just wear the insults like a shield. Ignore them or joke about it with them until it looses its edge and they move on to something else.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 08:10 AM by STM STM is offline

Old
RoryF's Avatar
I have the same sort of problem for different reasons, mainly being that I upload videos of my retro stuff on YouTube which people annoy me a lot for.

It's not as simple as ignoring it because half the time it's a bunch of people taking the piss and telling them to 'shut the fuck up' only makes situations worse.

Of course I still make videos despite this because I know at least people who watch my stuff tend to be a lot nicer/mature. There's no real advice to give that will work because there's no simple solution other than to endure it. Sucks, but there's no other way.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 10:21 AM by RoryF RoryF is offline

Old
OANST's Avatar
You should try rubbing yourself up against them every time they talk shit. That'll shut them up.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 11:07 AM by OANST OANST is offline

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
Quote:
I have the same sort of problem for different reasons, mainly being that I upload videos of my retro stuff on YouTube which people annoy me a lot for.

It's not as simple as ignoring it because half the time it's a bunch of people taking the piss and telling them to 'shut the fuck up' only makes situations worse.

Of course I still make videos despite this because I know at least people who watch my stuff tend to be a lot nicer/mature. There's no real advice to give that will work because there's no simple solution other than to endure it. Sucks, but there's no other way.
What terrible horrible bullying. I'm amazed at how much you're able to empathize with AG.

Really really amazed.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 11:24 AM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
RoryF's Avatar
Well I just gave one aspect of it, I'm not going to write a full page of it on someone's blog otherwise I'd feel as if I was taking over.

Whilst my point may not have been as serious, there's no need to get sarcastic about it.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 12:08 PM by RoryF RoryF is offline

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
If you think homophobic bullying at work and your youtube subscribers being rude over the internet because you're not showing them exactly what they want is even comparable then I should tell you I'm not just being sarcastic, I'm being downright nasty.

AG: Oanst has it right. Go to your HR department. You can't enable them to get away with that shit, especially if it's giving you panic attacks.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 12:21 PM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
RoryF's Avatar
My subscribers being rude over the internet?

You read that quite wrong but never mind, there's no point trying to explain it now because you're quite clearly just going to scrap it all anyway in an attempt to give some sarcastic comment.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 12:24 PM by RoryF RoryF is offline

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
Oh, right. I apologize for not understanding you properly.

I can't really complain about posting 'I know how you feel bro' comments in blogs because I must be the master of doing that by now, but I still don't think that was a very well thought out thing to post for reasons I don't want to further clog up the blog and make myself look like a prick by saying. It's still very much FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS in comparison though.

So yeah, sorry. I've backed the fuck off now.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 12:34 PM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
Phylum's Avatar
I don't know if it's worse that you can't figure out your problems with Youtube subscribers aren't as severe as homophobic bullying, or that you don't realise all you said is they annoy you for uploading things they don't like.

AG, some of that stuff is shitty. As hard as it might be to do something about it I'm sure you understand how important it is that they don't get away with it.

One option for dealing with it might actually be to out yourself as being gay. That might make them pull their heads in. I probably wouldn't do that, but I'm pretty sure it would shut them up.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 12:44 PM by Phylum Phylum is offline

Old
RoryF's Avatar
I will admit it wasn't worded flawlessly, but really, I never said anything about any subscribers hating stuff. Unless you're referring to 'people' which I meant people in real life, not subscribers sending hate over the internet, that would be stupid to bring up.

Basically I meant people I have to be in the same class with usually give me a lot of annoyance mostly based on my videos, but I do get a lot of homophobic bullying as well from it (not just people going "You're gay hurhurhur" obviously) despite not actually being homosexual.

Hope that clears anything up.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 12:51 PM by RoryF RoryF is offline

Old
Wings of Fire's Avatar
No, I got that. I got that late but I got that.

For the record, homophobic bullying is far more insidious and destructive if you're actually homosexual though.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:01 PM by Wings of Fire Wings of Fire is offline

Old
Jordan's Avatar
That's downright shitty. It amazes me that people can still act like such school children even when at work.

Going back on what Phylum said, it would be quite interesting to out yourself to them, they might actually back off if they knew the truth. The joke becomes far less amusing when it's dealing with facts. However, I understand completely that it is difficult for many to do such a thing.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:03 PM by Jordan Jordan is offline

Old
RoryF's Avatar
Yeah, but it slightly balances out depending on how many people direct the homophobic insults at you. In my case it's quite a lot of people because of how classes were mixed up in changing years this time and so I'm in a class where ~75% aren't exactly the nicest of individuals.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:05 PM by RoryF RoryF is offline

Old
AvengingGibbons's Avatar
I've had an okay shift tonight, no gay-related remarks, no bullying type behavior. Thanks for your replies everyone. WoF, I havent had panick attacks from the comments, I've just felt close to having them, my face blushes red, and I stumble hopelessly over my words in that moment, and my heart pounds too.

It seems there's a very blurry line between people bullying someone and people just trying to have a joke.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:31 PM by AvengingGibbons AvengingGibbons is offline

Old
OANST's Avatar
Mmmmm. I don't know. I'd say what they are doing is bullying. The stoner thing, though...I think you're just being hyper sensitive there.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:34 PM by OANST OANST is offline

Old
Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Seriously, when they make dumbass comments like 'GUH HUH HUH HIT THE WALL GUYS' just lock eyes with them, extend your hand into a claw at groin height, and slowly edge towards them, staring, staring. They'll stop.

But since that's utterly ridiculous here's whatcha do. Write down everything that they're doing, however unfortunate it might be to recall it, and use your hand to use your telephone to call your boss or someone similarly important and explain what's going on to them off of that page. I did the exact same thing at this job I worked with a horribly malicious total failure of a human being and that shut her up. It didn't shut her shitty music up though SO YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN THERE
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:45 PM by Mac Sirloin Mac Sirloin is offline
Updated 02-12-2013 at 01:52 PM by Mac Sirloin

Old
OANST's Avatar
I would say something to the affect that I agree with Mac, BUT I WAS PART OF A RECENT PURGE SO HE CAN FONDLE DICK MEAT FOR ALL I CARE HMPH
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:51 PM by OANST OANST is offline

Old
Mac Sirloin's Avatar
To be fair the only people I left on there was my dying uncle and my Aunt's small business, give or take. And I need to make a new one to put Dazzler back in my name which is VERY VERY IMPORTANT. And I'll be back on there. Also I was drunk when I deleted everyone, ONE BY ONE BY ONE, AND meant to leave a circle of people, and I can't remember the complicated password I deliberately made complicated so that I wouldn't remember how complicated it was when I sobered up.

I DON'T MEAN TO HURT YOU BABY, IT'S JUST I HAVE TO USE MY CLUBS FOR SOMETHING
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:55 PM by Mac Sirloin Mac Sirloin is offline

Old
Nate's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phylum
One option for dealing with it might actually be to out yourself as being gay. That might make them pull their heads in. I probably wouldn't do that, but I'm pretty sure it would shut them up.
I've tried that. It wasn't entirely equivalent, because they weren't being homophobic towards me specifically, but rather throwing around the words 'gay' and 'fag' willy-nilly. After I came out they did it even more often, and generally making obvious eye contact with me beforehand.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:57 PM by Nate Nate is offline

Old
OANST's Avatar
I said Dick Meat.
Posted 02-12-2013 at 01:57 PM by OANST OANST is offline

 

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