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In need of an explaination...

Posted 03-03-2009 at 05:41 PM by Slog Bait
Updated 03-03-2009 at 05:56 PM by Slog Bait
This is mostly directed at BM, but I figure I'd might as well post this as a blog so people could discuss and comment on the subject as well. I didn't make this a thread because I thought it was more of a personal thing and it would die quickly due to a lack of interest.

Alright, so recently on deviantart, I logged on and all, right? Nothing bad... Until I ran into a rather 'vulgar' picture that annoyed the shit out of me.

I'm not sure whether DA is going to delete it or just mature content it, but before they do anything, here it is: [link]

Now, I didn't have a problem that it was a copy&paste, and I didn't care that they turned the Wendy's icon into a slut from the past, what did bother me however, was the fact that they gave Toucan Sam a mammalian penis. A poorly drawn one at that. So, I brought it up to my watchers, and one of them said that I should draw an example of a bird's penis.

I haven't laughed so hard in my life.

At this point I thought it was common knowledge that people my age group would know that all avians lack phalluses, but in place had cloacas. Appearantly I was wrong. So, what do I need explained?

Well, I'm horrible at explaining anything what so ever, especially when it comes to biological matters. I know the stuff, I just can't form it into an explaination that makes any kind of sense. All I need is for someone to type up a post, as short or as long as you want, explaining (there's that word again) the male and female reproductive systems of any avian. (preferably of the psittacines)

Little help guys?

Also: if I happened to get anything incorrect, or seem like I have misinterpretted anything, please let me know, because I really don't want to go off on a rant over something I thought I knew but don't.
Total Comments 11

Comments

Old
Pilot's Avatar
Sorry, I can't view it. I've never been able to look at mature material on DA without an account, and never saw to opening an account because I am not an artist and have no art to post. Are there that many members on there who don't post their own art?
Posted 03-03-2009 at 06:27 PM by Pilot Pilot is offline

Old
Slog Bait's Avatar
There's tons actually.

Most of them are just there to post journals without a character limit, or to favorite pictures they don't want to forget. Some people are just on there to critique art.

Normally, what I see happen is someone with no artistic talent will make an account and flood their page with random pictures, which on DA is perfectly acceptable.

Also, the forum is full of drama (as well as many 'popular' artists pages), so it's always fun to run through and laugh at the massive flame wars.
Posted 03-03-2009 at 06:37 PM by Slog Bait Slog Bait is offline

Old
Pilot's Avatar
I'll start an account. Then I'll look up RAPR.

Plus your pic.
Posted 03-03-2009 at 06:38 PM by Pilot Pilot is offline

Old
Bullet Magnet's Avatar
Okay. First of all, toucans are not psittacines, they're ramphastids. Which, like most birds, reproduce by touching cloaca and the male ejaculating into the female.



Females begin life with two ovaries and two oviducts, but only one grows while the other regresses, leaving only the left one functional. As in humans, it contains all the ova the bird will ever have. It's a complicated process by which the egg passes through the system, is fertilised, plumped and given a shell, but I will explain it if prompted.



The testes of the male are kept deep inside the body, above the kidneys. There are differences from the mammalian system, but it works as you'd expect without a penis.

However, some birds do have a phallus. It is not the same as the mammalian penis, being an erectile expansion of the cloacal wall and filled with lymph instead of blood. They are often partially feathered, and normally kept curled up inside of the cloaca (some of you may have seen a pink curly thing dangling from the underside of a duck. This is it.) Despite birds not generally being known for having penises, it is the [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argentine_Blue-bill]Argentine Blue-bill[url] that has the largest penis relative to body size of all vertebrates, usually about 20 cm but clocking a record of 42.5cm. It has a bristled tip that can remove the sperm of previous copulations.

Birds that have a penis like this include the primitive palaeognaths (flightless ratites like ostriches, cassowaries, kiwis; and the weird tinamous), the Anatidae (ducks, geese, swans), flamingos (figures) and a very few other species. Certainly not toucans.

Anyway, if you want to draw a bird's penis (specifically a duck's), it's pink, shaped like a corkscrew and has a bottle brush on the end. Keep in mind that the female has a corkscrew shaped vagina, but it spirals in the reverse direction.
Posted 03-03-2009 at 07:11 PM by Bullet Magnet Bullet Magnet is offline

Old
Pilot's Avatar
God Marcus we can't take you anywhere You're fun at parties, aren't you?

Heh heh heh....... good use of the Wendy's logo.

I suppose I could post my photomanips in my new account, but I'd need to ask the permission of the all the people I've made fun of.

OANST.
Posted 03-03-2009 at 07:35 PM by Pilot Pilot is offline

Old
Slog Bait's Avatar
Quote:
First of all, toucans are not psittacines, they're ramphastids
Now see, that I did not know. I had always thought toucans were a type of parrot.

Well, I'm very gracious that you took the time to type that up, unforunately I can't think of anything to do in return except thank you for posting. Also, I was never planning on actually drawing a bird's penis, I was just asked to.

Quote:
I suppose I could post my photomanips in my new account, but I'd need to ask the permission of the all the people I've made fun of.
That'd definately be interesting to see.
Posted 03-03-2009 at 08:53 PM by Slog Bait Slog Bait is offline

Old
Bullet Magnet's Avatar
When you look at a living toucan, it very quickly becomes apparent that they are not like parrots. They're more like woodpeckers.
Posted 03-03-2009 at 09:03 PM by Bullet Magnet Bullet Magnet is offline

Old
OANST's Avatar
My image is yours to defame, Pilot.
Posted 03-04-2009 at 06:56 AM by OANST OANST is offline

Old
Pilot's Avatar
Oh I wouldn't defame you, if anything I'm making you more famous.

And fabulous!
Posted 03-04-2009 at 07:17 AM by Pilot Pilot is offline

Old
Slog Bait's Avatar
Quote:
When you look at a living toucan, it very quickly becomes apparent that they are not like parrots. They're more like woodpeckers.
I've never seen a living toucan, only pictures. Same goes for a woodpecker, so I wouldn't easily see they're similar to woodpeckers and not parrots. With the amount of knowledge I have, toucans live in tropical climates, as well as many parrots. This is why I assumed they must be psittacines.
Posted 03-04-2009 at 02:29 PM by Slog Bait Slog Bait is offline

Old
Bullet Magnet's Avatar
Okay. Woodpeckers are common where I grew up (green ones, naturally), and I saw a pair of toco toucans for sale in a pet shop with other birds. They bound along branches and perches, whereas parrots climb. Parrots also have an intelligence you can see in their eyes, they know you and that you're thinking too (keeping a parrot is like having a two-year old for some eighty years), but toucans, while smart, are much more like other animals. They also only squawk for the practical reasons toucans squawk for, whereas parrots make a racket purely for their own amusement. Also, the sound they make is like nothing a parrot makes.

I say nothing, but all the amazons and macaws at this place could imitate these toucans and did so often and with glee.
Posted 03-04-2009 at 02:57 PM by Bullet Magnet Bullet Magnet is offline

 

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