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What a jerk

Posted 10-08-2015 at 03:19 PM by Mac Sirloin
Updated 10-08-2015 at 03:23 PM by Mac Sirloin
There was a fire drill on campus today. A classmate and I were trying to get some monotonous computer coursework done, really simple, powerpoint level stuff. Anyway, halfway through it we're forced outside for twenty minutes. No big deal, fresh air is better than the farty atmosphere of the Computer Lounge.

A circle of nursing students had gathered and were doing dumb exercises. I wandered over to join in, mostly curious, and I was singled out by this attractive leprechaun of a woman, nary a maggot taller than four feet. She was instructing some paunchy twenty-year olds on how to touch your nose, and that's honestly the best explanation I can give. I have no idea what was actually going on.

Anyway, I guess I must have stumbled a little too close to the rainbow because this tiny professor singled me out and said "Uh, you can't join in!"

Fuck you lady. I'll do what I want, when I want, if I know I want to do it. It's not my fault you were cavorting like a retard and drew my attention. I felt excluded. More importantly, I felt like I'd been excluded on the whims of an idiot.

Running through my mind afterwards was the obvious: Was this that on-Campus feminism I hear about? This misguided, poor approximation of egalitarianism masquerading as empowerment? Had I just been subjugated by someone who doesn't comprehend the irony of her lack of understanding of that word?

No. Bringing feminism into it is absolutely silly. So silly it would ruin my point about what a failure of an academic this Professor is. I think the Male equivalent to this woman would be a similarly underwhelming, squeeky homosexual with really bad spacer earings and an unsettling agelessness.


What it makes me feel like saying is this:
Professor, I don't know what rubric you were following. I know that, being a new student at this school in a program that's designed to help me narrow my choices down, you behaved like a despicably alienating self righteous maggot, incidentally or otherwise.

I think that being a petite attractive woman, hardship is something that is hard to come by in your world. You need to scrape for every last scrap of it that you can find, otherwise you might have to acknowledge your painful, boring normalcy. You might have to face the fact that those overweight bumpkins you were showing how to stretch are probably going to marry into overweight bumpkin families and spend a great deal of time in their overpopulated profession seeking poorly compensated work.

I think that, in overthinking this otherwise banal event, I don't like you very much. I don't like your attitude or your self righteous little game of exclusion. I think that whatever you were trying to demonstrate was lost in the Barbie-doll esque simplicity of your thought process.

I think that being an intelligent, creative person in this suffocating, fume-addled shithole is a lot harder than getting paid to be the first adult to swear without shame in front of a group of recently-adults.

I think that as a teacher, or more accurately, as an educator, you failed. You failed miserably in this simple test but, I think that being the short sighted arrogant social pervert that you are is punishment enough. I think the fact that you had time enough to grab your coat, tie your scarf, getting real done up for a fire drill is evidence enough that you are unironically a selfish dumbass.

So...enjoy being that person. Enjoy those aspirations and dreams which must be a miasma of toxic stink in your mind during your unoccupied moments. Enjoy the endless contempt people must surely demonstrate in having to deal with you.

More than anything, please soak up the very satisfied fart I will squelch out feigning holding a door open for you, but only so that I may skip through it and hold it shut tight for you to enjoy my gases.
Total Comments 5

Comments

Old
Nepsotic's Avatar
So... why didn't she let you join in? Was there a reason?
Posted 10-08-2015 at 05:26 PM by Nepsotic Nepsotic is offline

Old
Varrok's Avatar
Don't worry, you can touch your nose and do other weird shit among us and we won't alienate you as much.
Posted 10-09-2015 at 12:55 AM by Varrok Varrok is offline

Old
Mr. Bungle's Avatar
I didn't know you were in school. How admirable.
Posted 10-09-2015 at 12:38 PM by Mr. Bungle Mr. Bungle is offline

Old
MA's Avatar
fuck that woman-dwarf. i've met people like that under similar circumstances and felt embarrassed, but don't get sucked into their little world. they're immature and impolite.
Posted 10-11-2015 at 03:49 PM by MA MA is offline

Old
Shrykull43's Avatar
From what I can tell shortness and evil are directly related...
Also you really shouldn't be embarrassed you've been excluded from some dumbass professor's world where they have to compensate for being a midget by being an asshole. idk when I'm in those situations my go to is the classic "Fuck off, and good riddance."
Posted 10-12-2015 at 04:04 PM by Shrykull43 Shrykull43 is offline

 

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