Hmm, thanks very much.
I have decided to try writing it again in 3rd person.
I've drawn it down to 3 key characters that the story revolves around, and several major characters connected to them.
And as for direct speech, there are quite a few ways of writing it, like
"Blah blah blah" He mumered with a blank expression on his face.
or "It's your fault!" Harry shot violently
"Is not" He replied imediatly
or something like that.
My old English teacher said TKAMB (or mocking bird) had a quite a unique way of dioluge, and therefore made it much easier to transfer into a movie.
Another major problem I have is the introduction, I find it so hard to find the perfect beginning, I was going to have 3 characters go to school speratly, through 3 parts, but then decided it was better to follow one in the begenning, introduce everyone, then go through the other characters stories.
Amd that's the problem with 3rd person, I wanted it to be told by the characters, I wanted it to be their stories, but 1st person is also alot easier in other ways, as you have said.
Thanks again heaps for your help, and sorry about all of the questions.