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  #61  
Old 03-19-2008, 08:21 AM
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I understand Oddey. Everyone seems to be busy including myself. But that's ok.

*claps* Great chapter.
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  #62  
Old 03-26-2008, 11:19 AM
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Ok here it comes.
Chapter 17

Breaking In


Abe opened his eyes. The last thing he had seen was the smoking slig's red glowing eyes. Where was he? His eyes slowly snapped into focus. It looked an awful lot like the holding cell he had been in after rescueing all the ninety-nine mudokons from Rupture Farms. It was in fact the precise same cell but it had been moved away into the factory of Sinzers to serve as a reminder, since the news of his capture had travelled straight to the Lady Margret within a single day. The Queen herself had insisted upon coming, but due to the fact that she was on life preserve, she had been unable to. Yet very many glukkons had decided to come to pay back Abe for everthing he did. So Abe had several days of life before almost every glukkon in the mudos had gotten his fair share of tormenting Abe. But none of them knew that before any glukkon set arm or foot inside the factory, Finklar and Germ would hopefully be inside the factory.
Germ had finally given in to the plan, after being unable to find a better one. He walked out to the garbage dump and none of the sligs in the towers had called out. It was by very good fortune that they had abandoned their posts just to see the captured Abe. Otherwise Finklar would soon have found out that there wasn't a garbage slig. Only a small machine. Finklar crept over to the garbage dump and crawled through the small hole and pulled Germ in after him. The pipe was extremely dark and even worse smelling. It seemed that a slig was behind every corner but no living thing but a few slurgs were in the tunnel. Ahead light finnaly came. They were inside.

Well there ya go. Time for cake.
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  #63  
Old 03-27-2008, 01:04 PM
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Woot woot! Poor Abe.
Great chapter! It gave me chills while I was reading.
Can I have some cake?
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  #64  
Old 03-27-2008, 01:15 PM
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Can I have some cake?
If you like this particular cake. I don't know what its called myself but it has a nice bunch of whip cream and jam. And over the top a nice eggwhite thingy that tastes so much better than it sounds. And it'll be a bit hard to send it. I want some milk in compensation if I do give you some(Don't have very much at the moment.)
I don't know why I did the Rupture Farms cell thingy but it seemed like a real good idea at the time. Not so sure now. Ah well. My bed and toothbrush beckon. Good night.
Edit: I don't want to double post so I'm going to edit to make this the new chapter.
Chapter 18

Security


Abe had realized that the cell he was in was exactly the same as the one he had been in at Rupture Farms. The owner of the factory had already tried to headbutt him but a few sligs held him back so as not to damage his head. The sligs on the other hand were laughing, punching and whapping at Abe. A few slog were snapping at his heels. Abe's quick reactions were the only thing that saved his feet from being bitten right off. After a slig had gotten close by Abe's front to mock him again, Abe gave a hard kick at the slig with his foot causing a small disorder. After that the sligs tied Abe's feet together, but that didn't stop Abe from using both feet to give the sligs something to think about. So most of them left afterwards or simply stayed a good distance away from Abe. Abe was getting bored and started to fall asleep.
Finklar spent a while looking down at the interior. It looked like a slog hut but with no slogs or huts. On either side there were conveyor belts where mudokons packed, stamped, and closed packages of cigars. Not far from where Finklar and Germ crouched was a small recycler slowly taking very small amounts of greenery into it. Then it was fed into a large metal container where a trio of mudokons pulled levers. All around mudokons scrubbed the floor for hours on end. It was a complete factory missing nothing except security. The only slig that Finklar could see was a BigBro snoozing against the wall.
"Where's all the security?" Asked Finklar.
"Well I think they'd all want to see Abe captured." Replied Germ.
"Well that's good. For us." Said Finklar with a nasty grin which Germ returned. Finklar hopped down dropping his glasses. Picking them up casually, he strolled across the factory floor to where the BigBro lay asleep. Slowly every mudokon abandoned work to see if it was the real outlawed Finklar. Germ crept down the wall without very much of a glance until the sound of slig pants was echoed through the entire room. Once the two had gotten to the BigBro, Finklar clapped very loudly infront of the BigBro who woke up and quickly stood up, saluted and said "I wadn't sleepin'... Hey you idn't my boss. Den I can sleep?"
Finklar then yelled "I work here and you better get up to your boss! He needs your help! He's got a mad slog up there trying to bite off his legs!"
"Right away! I'll save im'!" said the BigBro before hurrying over to the lift where he then pulled away frantically before relizing that this lift wasn't designed to carry BigBros. It creaked and split in two before the rope snapped.
"What are you doing here Mr. Vykker?" asked a mudokon.
"I'm here to save Abe." Said Finklar when he saw that the mudokon who he had just said this to was none other than the lunch mudokon.

So what do you think? What's the Lunch mudokon doing there? How will Finklar And Germ save Abe? This is the longest chapter so far.
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  #65  
Old 03-31-2008, 01:23 PM
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I hope they free him soon.
What is the Lunch Mudokon doing there? =o

Great chapter.
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  #66  
Old 04-04-2008, 12:24 PM
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Ok a little bit of news. I will be continueing Murder Market. When I get close to the end then I'll read the whole thing and also I've got an idea for another fan fic. Either way the next chapter is here now.
Chapter 19

Free

Finklar stood there with his arms hanging limp at his side.
"But-I-You-We-He-What?" Babbled Finklar confused.
"I suppose you're wondering why I'm here?" Guessed the lunch mudokon. "Well it started last night. When you freed me." At these words several of the bored mudokons snapped into attention. The already attentive ones muttered words of aproval.
"I was just taking a walk, because I was in a bit of shock, when suddenly those three other muds bash me on the head. Next thing I know I'm in a cage being ordered to work." He finished. This made every worker gasp. Very few mudokons betrayed their own kind.
"Well your going to get out again." Said Finklar. "This time to some kind of native place. Because I'm here to save Abe."
"He's upstairs. Lots of guards are up there, and the Boss himself." Said a small scrub with a worn loincloth. Finklar went into thought. If he were to distract the sligs while Germ gave a few quick shots then maybe they could free Abe.
"Germ, we'll be going now." Barked Finklar. Nodding the slig was filled in on the plan. If he got to shoot stuff it was ok. Even if he was Abe's freind he still had a lust for guns.
Abe's hands were bound tighter than they had been in Rupture Farms. But he had gotten used to it by now. He was nearly sleeping. The doors opened and Abe opened an eye. It was a shrink. Lady Margret's face was on the TV screen. A long chain of horrific words were hurled out at Abe. Abe was wondering when it would end when the glukkon stopped to take a few deep breaths. Then started again but coughing inbetween. At the end she was hacking non-stop. A vykker appeared and began to inject a needle to send her to sleep. Then the TV went blank. The shrink retreted and sligs filed in. There was only three. Then suddenly Finklar sprang in running around Abe in a circle. The sligs, who had been taken by surprise, started to look at Finklar, heads bobbing back and forth. The suddenly they all fell over and bled. Germ then aimed very carefully and shot the metal bonds off of Abe's hands and legs. Quickly Abe dashed out led all the mudokons to a more out-of-the-way place and chanted opening a portal. Quick as a flash several mudokons had lande in Necrum. The lunch mudokon was amazed that he had actually been freed. Overjoyed, he sprang about stepping on the lush grass and settled dow once he had tired.
Finklar and Germ had caught up with Abe. They then quickly ran out of the factory with Germ swiping two packets of cigars and a spare ammo box. Sinzers was out of buisness for a while now. But Glugg hadn't gotten a single other peice of moolah.

So then there it is the next chapter. I look forward to reading the whole thing after finishing it.
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  #67  
Old 04-06-2008, 01:07 PM
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Yay! xD
I'm gonna read the whole thing too!
Your fanfic makes me wanna RP But that's a good thing.
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  #68  
Old 04-18-2008, 11:47 AM
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You know for some strange reason I have a feeling that OddYouko could write a good fanfiction with a good idea. Start thinking.
Chapter 20

A New Plan

Finklar slowed his pace down to a slow trot after they had gotten far from the factory. Abe didn't notice until he was about three yards away. Germ had been going much slower on the other hand. Finklar then thought. How could they get Glugg money? It wasn't like Lulu who had donation vendos. It was more like slipping moolah under doors. They would need to discuss that with the Raisen because he must have had some idea.
"What is it?" Asked Abe when he had caught up with him.
"How do you think we should get the moolah to Glugg?" Replied Finklar
"I don't know." Said Abe "The Raisen might have an idea though."
"Yes..." Said Finklar slowly "What way is it?" At this Abe started to walk to the right. Then right again. A left. Right. Forward. Right and then a cave opening. "Here we are." Said Abe. Finklar passed through the cave again but this time the walls seemed to grin and widen. Once by the Raisen's chamber, the Raisen spoke.
"You are back earlier than you should have been." He said.
"Your plan isn't really working out because how are we meant to get the moolah to Glugg?" Finklar said feeling a little annoyed.
"An obstacle I overlooked. Your plans are changed. Only one more way exists into Vykkers Labs. Only a moment before did I find it. A single weakness in an unimpenitreble fortress. The poop shute. The big well will fling you high enough land inside it. Only at regular intervals does it pass over there and open it's weakness to you. Go through the poop chute and then... and then..." He had fallen asleep again.
"There he goes again." Said Abe sighing.
"Can't we wake him up?" Asked Germ hopefully.
"Even if we could, he wouldn't tell us." Replied Abe. Finklar thought for a moment. Was all this really worth it? Going so far and losing all his fame just so he could solve a murder mystery. One thought of Tex was enough to make him to decide firmly.
"We should take a rest first. Then tommorow we'll continue." Decided Finklar. Germ nodded happily. Abe followed suit. Laying down Finklar fell asleep after a few momemts along with a quietly snoring Germ. Abe fell asleep not long after.

Note that this story takes place a good deal after Munch's Oddysee so Vykkers Labs got rebuilt.
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  #69  
Old 04-18-2008, 12:58 PM
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Thanks Oddey. I'd have to do a lot of thinking if I were to write/type a fanfic.

Poop chute. Great chapter.
Is Munch gonna be in this too? :/
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  #70  
Old 04-19-2008, 01:10 AM
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Is Munch gonna be in this too? :/
He'll play some part other than betrayer. See the Raisen's speech for reference on this. I wonder... OddYouko have you ever drawn a vykker? Then you could make your version of Finklar.
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Old 04-19-2008, 08:13 AM
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No I've never tried a Vykker before.
I'll find a picture and try it sometime.
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Old 04-29-2008, 04:07 AM
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Righty since I still don't have much of an outline I'm not exactly sure what I'll do once they get into Vykkers Labs. Jeez this is fun.
Chapter 21

To the Big Well


Finklar raised his eyelids one at a time. He then stood up. He was still inside the cave and Germ and Abe were still asleep. Germ was roused after Finklar took a few steps.
"What?" He demanded.
"Nothing it's just it's about time to go." Finklar replied. Their conversation didn't wake Abe up though. He was still asleep. Germ walked around a little looking at the cave. He had always thought that, even while mudokons got along with him, mudokons were not smarter than him. Now looking at this cave he could see what a wonder mudokons were able to build. While glukkons could build titans of production and industry, mudokons could make great things. Abe sat up and slowly got up on his feet.
"Lets go." He said. Finklar nodded in response, but Germ wasn't paying attention. They started out of the cave, and by the time they were halfway through the entrance hall Germ finally realized they had gone, and had to run across the cave floor as fast as he could before catching up.

The fresh morning air breezed into their faces. After the vykkers had lost their Vykkers Labs they hadn't gotten the time to actually get a hold of the area. So little resistance was along the path. Only a single paramite that had scuttered away at the very sight of them, and a small slog that Germ had managed to tame, had stood in their path. So they quadrio walked and walked until they found the Big Well. It was blasting up debris and still gusts of wind went into their faces. The aircraft wasn't in the right position yet and so they waited.
"Three... Two... One... Now!" Said Germ for the eleventh time.
"No, no, no." Said Finklar. "Wait for it... Wait for it... Now!" He sprang in with Abe pulling Germ in and the small slog, that Germ now called Well, hopped in after Germ.

Finklar was falling and suddenly up he went. The wind cutting into his skin and above the poop chute was slowly opening. He went right through it. He then crept along the edges to avoid falling off. Abe came next and Germ came last holding his little slog, just in time to land on the platform as it closed again. They were inside. Now all Finklar had to do was find the vykker. Easier said than done.

Will they find him or will he find them? Are they going to be captured? Will Finklar get the dream job, or will Abe blow the place up? All is revealed when this story finishes which it's going to have to do pretty soon.
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Old 04-29-2008, 11:34 AM
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Great chapter!
I just hope they don't get killed.
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  #74  
Old 04-29-2008, 03:09 PM
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Yay! I've just caught up with the story (i've been neglecting to check up on all the fanfics, bleh) and I gotta say I love it. The characters are interesting, and I love the name Finklar. It sounds really oddworld-ish.
You might want to skip a space after everyone talks, just to make things a little tidy, but other than that, I like it. <3
More please!
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Old 05-06-2008, 11:47 AM
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Meh... I just drew up a basic plan for two chapters. Might as well post one. But I'll only post the other one a little later. Only because it's incrediblely fun to keep you in suspense. Oh yes and thanks for dropping by Moosh (I so envy your epidemic fan fic.).
Chpater 22

Sewers

Finklar gave himself a small check-up just to see if the wind had hurt him in any way. There wasn't any. Thankful he then crept along to the door. Opening it slowly he peeked into the next room. What he saw made him slip back away from veiw. There was at least twenty-five Interns and sligs on patrol. Vykker's Labs hadn't gone down in security.
"We'll have to go another way. There's too many guards, and only Germ has a weapon. And he'd need alot more bullets." Said Finklar.

There was another door, just barely visible. Finklar stepped through and landed in cool water. Looking around he saw a sign saying that they were in the sewers.
"This is the sewer system. They won't find us this way." Assured Finklar.
"Yeah but we don't swim even if you do." Argued Germ.
"Maybe that's why there's a low catwalk right there." Added Finklar in as-a-matter-of-fact voice.
"Oh yeah..." Said Abe and with that he crept up on the catwalk and Germ followed. Finklar decided that he might as well so he climbed up as well. After that they scurried along.

After walking a little longer they came to a place where the catwalk bended back down, into a shallow pool with the exit at the end.
"Come on! Lets go!" Said Germ.
"Stop before you hurt yourself." Said Finklar, who had a small peice of metal handy. He threw that out into the middle of the water, where a few barks came as a dozen slogs ran forwaard to investigate it.
"Oh odd..." Said Abe, "Sewer slogs... Didn't they get rid of these?"
"Guess not." Replied Germ who hadn't seen that well had run into the pack to see his bretheren. Barking happily, the slogs turned to him. Surrounding him the slog realized his mistake as the leader sprang forward to take a bite out of him. Well was then ripped to shreds and Germ, who had seen it until too late, opened his mouth in protest. Then he closed and gripped his shotgun and Fired a round killing the leader. Then he aimed and pulled the trigger. Unfortuneatly he had only brought so much ammo and was now on his las shot with just one slog dead.
"Brilliant..." Said Finklar sarcastically, "We'll have to run across."

This proved relatively easy at first for the slogs were too busy consuming the flesh of their leader and Well. Until they had made it halfway they changed targets. Much smarter than normal slogs they made the trio run in circles to outwit them, and when they had actually made it to the exit, Abe had taken a small bite that nobody, not even Abe, noticed. Until later...

I may edit the huge spaces as it doesn't really seem natural...
And I did, beleive me it looks ten times better.
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  #76  
Old 05-06-2008, 12:59 PM
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Cool another chapter!
Did Abe get bitten or something?
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Old 05-06-2008, 02:39 PM
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CLIFFHANGER OH NOEZ! =O
So something bit a chunk out of Abe and he didn't notice? Update soon or i'll be forced to take drastic measures...
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Old 05-07-2008, 05:24 AM
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drastic measures...
I love drasticness. I want to keep you hanging a little longer though I've gotten the next chapter planned out.
Oh by the way it was more like when a puppy bites you real hard. He's got a few bite marks. I'm not exactly sure how he didn't notice it though. I'll employ plot devices and that he might have gotten used to being bitten in MO where somehow slogs bite much less hard.
Edit: You know you guys are real lucky. Cause I've decided to write the next chapter because I hate to wait as well.
Chapter 23

The Hit


The three continued down the small passage that the exit had led to. The walls were so close that only one could walk through at a time. At certain times it seemed as if the threatened to fall down if they didn't leave. Suddenly the walls became muchless close. In the next room the ground bent downwards slightly creating a small trough, filled with a small amount of water. No slogs were visable so Finklar and the others crossed. Then Abe began to stagger slightly. Finklar looked back and could see why.

Around Abe the water was turing from clear to red. Trying to continue he collapsed. Finklar and Germ quickly grabbed him and carried him across, Germ pressing to stop the bleeding.

After getting out of the trought the pathway began to curve upwards in a spiral. About halfway a small room with a sign labelled "Storage" appeared. With little other choice Germ and Finklar went inside. The room was filled with everything that may be needed. Slig pants, fuzzle cages, flying slig harnesses, several jars filled with antitoxins, painkillers, syringes, and liquids. Finklar quickly looked through them and found five things that would prove useful. Working quickly he managed to get Abe back on his feet. But just as Abe got up, muffles were heard. They bacame louder and the door opened.
"Hmmhmmmhmm?" Said one voice, who seemed to be holding the door open.
"Hm." Said the other.
"Look just check it out! It's what the Boss told us to do!" Said a vykker.

The three took the time to hide behind the shelves. Germ had taken one behind a couple of jars on it at the very back, Finklar had chosen a box filled shelf, and Abe had hiden in a shadowy corner. Just a second after A vykker, and two interns went in. They walked down towards the back. Germ then started to inch away still under the cover of shelves. But the uneven motion of slig pants made the jars rustle. An intern quickly turned its attention to the jar stocked shelf. Finklar then motioned to both Abe and Germ to run out. Holding up his claws he slowly lowered them in turn. "NOW!" He yelled. Abe and Finklar were equally fast and Germ ran close behind them. He drew his Shotgun and fired at the alarm, breaking it. Then he sprinted to get out in time. He did.

The locks in Vykkers labs were both very convienient and frusterating. They could be locked from both sides. Finklar locked the door from the outside and the vykker could be heard screaming to open the door.
"I'm out of ammo now. Maybe we should try to find the armoury?" He asked.
"Yes... Weapons could do us some good." Said Finklar. "Wait a minute, there was an alarm in there!"
"Oh I broke that." Said Germ. Finklar made a look of surprise and then smiled in a good-one type of way. At least nobody still knew they were there. Nobody except two interns and a vykker.


There ya go. I'll have to finish my homework much faster now.
Oh and about the other idea. I got the first chapter but then couln't really add anything good to it. I've decided to think of another idea thats a little less harder to write things on, and much less violent. The other one consisted of a Doom-like story and an evil expirement, that cloned itself.
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Old 05-15-2008, 11:09 AM
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Meh. I can't edit my other post and it's time for a new chapter anyway.

Chapter 24

Looting


Finklar led the way up the spiral slope in hopes of finding the armoury. Germ was following closely with Abe looking behind his back every now and again. Finklar personally had doubts about finding the armoury. He expected it to be on the other side of the ship. Germ wasn't thinking about if they would find it. He was thinking about what weapon he would take.

After a good deal of walking a small side passage was noticed. Curious Abe had gone in to see what it was. Doors lined the sides. Abe tried one. It was locked thoroughly. Abe moved onto the next one which wasn't locked. in fact it was half open. A small party of interns and sligs littered the ground along side several bottles of SoulStorm Brew. Carefully Abe stepped through until. It wasn't the armoury but it was as close as it got. Quarters. Abe picked up a snuzi, and loooked for some ammo. He found a few clips and a infra-red visor for Germ. Stepping out with his loot, he closed the door again. Passing the equipment to both Germ and Finklar, they tried the other doors. It seemed that they had been lucky that one particular group had been drunk enough to leave the door open.

Now that they were at least armed they continued onward. The spiral came to an end. A huge imposing door stood there. The label read that inside was the testing area. Finklar had no desire to charge in barely armed.
"Look for another way in. This way is bound to be crowded." Said Finklar.
"I think I've found one." Said Abe gesturing to a pile of crates piled next to the door. Above that was a rusty vent.
"Yes... The ventalation is always useful. Now lets see if we can get up there." Said Finklar who then grabbed hold of a box and pulled himself up. He executed this process several times before standing at the top.
"Well..." He asked expectently. Germ attempted to find smaller boxes to step up on becuase slig were very bad climbers. Mudokons were a different story on the other hand. While they were clumsy, they were good climbers, and Abe made it up reasonably fast. Germ spent a long time finding the smaller crates and piling them on each other to make stairs. In the end he got to the top as well.

Finklar pulled at the vent. It was stuck on harder than he had thought but it only took a few hard pulls to tear it off. Finklar clambered in and crawled along with Germ and Abe trailing after. Abe didn't have three legs or mechanical legs so he had not trouble whereas Germ had to duck very low. Finklar on the other hand was in some way crawling along despite having so many disadvantages. In the distance a small commotion could be heard. Finklar crawled along until he saw that there was a small rafter on the left side of the ventalation system. Peeking out he saw a group of vykkers working away.
"Good thing we didn't take this way." He whispered, as he crawled onward. Ahead a three-way intersection. Finklar paused. He had no idea where the vykker was, so he didn't know which direction to go.
'The Raisen did say that he was living my dream. I would live on the top level. There must be more than one elevator but if we are going to look for one why not do it in a less crowded place?' He thought as he took a right turn.

What were the drastic measures going to be anyway?
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Old 05-15-2008, 12:05 PM
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I was going to build a time-space-continuum warping device that would allow me to travel through the internet, to your house, and into your bedroom, where I would whack you repetively with a tennis racket.
More please! 8D
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Old 05-15-2008, 12:39 PM
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Great chapters!
I love it when Abe gets hurt for some reason.
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Old 05-17-2008, 12:34 AM
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Jejeje, that is very nice indeed! It makes nice sense and you can follow it easily, well done! Me like
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Old 05-19-2008, 04:23 AM
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Jejeje, that is very nice indeed! It makes nice sense and you can follow it easily, well done! Me like
Thanks for stopping by. What happened to Mr. Tuffsey?
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Great chapters!
I love it when Abe gets hurt for some reason.
I sense that you wish for Abe to die. (This is a joke.)
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I was going to build a time-space-continuum warping device that would allow me to travel through the internet, to your house, and into your bedroom, where I would whack you repetively with a tennis racket.
More please! 8D
Bu-bu-but that's dangerous! Besides you'd only find me in my bedroom if I was sleeping.

Thank you for all the comments. I think that there will only be 4-7 more chapters unless I decide to make an unexpected twist.
Chapter 25

The Creature


Finklar had been crawling for some time before he found another vent, but no light shown through this one. Going a little further he peeked down and saw that below there wasn't a single light on.
'It looks deserted so I don't think anyone would hear the vent smash down.' H thought as he pulled it out and let it fall down. It didn't make any kind of crash but instead it was a splash. Then a lamp in the room started to flicker. Illuminating the room long enough to see it was flooded, and it was very deep. The sole lamp that shone on and off was hung in the middle of the room with almost severed wires.

A sudden ripple appeared in the water. Then a huge cylinder-like creature surfaced out of the water flinging itself at the lamp. Opening it's mouth, it revealed a pair of jagged teeth, which cut straight through the lamp. Then it's eyes looked at Finklar.
"Freeesshh mmmeat..." It hissed menacingly. Proppeling itself downwards it launched itself straight at the vent, with a surprising speed. It's hidden arms then stretched out to brab the vent and tear it off. Finklar had backed away just in time. Now the other side of the vent was at a good distance now.
"What was that?" Whispered Abe who was crawling backwards furiously and catchng up with a backpeddaling Germ.
"I don't know, but it's hungry." Said Finklar who had brandished his snuzi.

The creature hadn't had food in days. It's creators had wanted to starve it now that they saw how it could overpower him. But now food walked into its arms. It shot out of the water, just as Finklar had poked out from the vent to shoot. The creature was hit but it wasn't enough to stop its flight. It rammed the vent, initially breaking the peice that the trio was in. It fell, but just as it rammed the water Abe and Germ had clambered atop it. But now it was out of sight, and no light but the one coming from Germ's visor was on.

The Creature hadn't taken a fatal wound but it had to tend it momentarily. Then she looked for her prey. It wasn't in sight, but the wreckage of the vent had a small red glow about it. Slowly swimming upwards it peered at the floating vent. Yes her prey was there.
"Freeeeeshh mmmeat..." She said once more to frighten them. This proved a mistake for Finklar and Germ had heard it and guessed it's direction. A barrage of both snuzi shots and bullets came upon it. Sinking back to the depths she growled in anger. This wasn't prey anymore, it was a competetor.

"Abe posses it." Finklar commanded.
"I'll try." Said Abe as he bagan to chant, trying very hard not to aim for Germ. Germ who knew what would happen if Abe didn't get the creature covered his ears feircely. With that Abe's spirit flew out of Abe, into the water, and on route to the creature.

Her atoned senses told her that something was coming. getting into a battle posistion she felt something come over her. It was an astral being. She hadn't had any training in this but she fought it. Firing arrows of mental energy at Abe's spirit, the two were locked in a struggle. Abe dug at her weak spots, while the creature strengthened them in return. But once abe had collapsed the wall of the creature's mind he overtook it. The creature was now his. She rammed the wall. And again, and again. And on the fourth try the wall broke and the water flooded out. Abe exited in all the commotion and the creature was lost forever.

Abe had come back into himself when he found himself in the now flooded testing area. The trio still stood upon the raft and now they paddled forward to find the elevator. It turned out to be in the testing area. Finklar jumped into the shallow water and pulled the elevator up a slight bit Germ and Abe could climb aboard as well. Then Germ took over and pulled it the rest of the way until they had reached the top level unchallenged. Now it was time to go through the door.

So? What's beyond the door? Or rather who's behind the door?
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Old 05-19-2008, 07:50 AM
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This chapter creeped me out. Very good though.
Santa?! The King?!
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Sleep well my Abe babe~

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Old 05-19-2008, 04:23 PM
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Nice. Keep it up. That creature is cool, sounds like a vykker experiment of some sort. Hurry up and get typin'! 8D
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Old 05-28-2008, 05:57 AM
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This chapter creeped me out. Very good though.
Santa?! The King?!
I've only been at Burger King once in my entire life. Glad it creeped you out though.
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Nice. Keep it up. That creature is cool, sounds like a vykker experiment of some sort. Hurry up and get typin'! 8D
You have no idea how much I wanted to put it in another chapter again. It was so fun making the fight even if it ended sort of Jaws the book style.

Now then. I've decided it's time to start writing again.
Chapter 26

Tricks And Traps


Finklar stood before the door with Abe and Germ at his sides. Looking at it he guessed how to open it. Giving it a hard kick right in the middle, he stood back. The door didn't open however. Finklar thought again, wondering how this door would open.
"Look around for some kind fo switch. There has to be one." He said. With that Abe, Germ and Finklar walked in diferent directions. Germ walked to the left, Abe walked to the right, and Finklar examined every inch of the door.

Abe looked for a lever. Most of the doors he had seen were controlled by them so he figured this one would be as well. Looking back and forth, he saw something in a corner. It looked like some kind of switch. Curious, Abe inspected it at a closer distance. It was positioned on the wall and in order to pull it he would have to pull to the side. Without a second thought he pulled, with a creak.

Germ was looking around for a control system, or some kind of slig lock. He was having no luck, when he heard a creaking noise. turning around he saw that Abe had found something. Tapping Finklar on the shoulder he gestured at Abe. Finklar looked at the door again hoping for an effect. But it wasn't the door that the lever effected. It was the entire room. The wall had become at least two-hundred levers. Germ looked around in horror. Which one was he to pull?

Abe let go of the lever. But as soon as he did, the lever began to revert back to it's starting point, while the other levers began to retract back into the wall. Abe grabbed the lever and pulled it back, and the levers reverted. Finklar turned arond at this point and his mouth opened in awe. Never before had he seen such a security system. Looking at the levers he tried to spot a difference in all of them, but to no avail. Germ was still staring, until he noticed one part of the wall that hadn't turned. Without thinking over it he walked across the room and pushed it in. The door had opened, only to reveal another door.

Germ retracted his hand and the door closed. Quickly he put his hand back. Finklar who had seen all of this then entered the small room to see that instead of levers, there was now two platforms, labbeled one and two. Finklar thought hard. One of these caused a fatality he was sure, and the other opened the door. His first choice was one, but he didn't step on it. Beforehand he thought very hard. One was the only number that could be mutiplied with itself to give the same number, but on the other hand two was the only even prime number. He then changed his decision to two. He was one step away from touching it when he remembered this was his dream. He would have had it be something entirely different. The solution wasn't two or one, it was three. It had a worn labbel, but a third platform, that surrounded the sides of the room, was visible if he looked hard enough. Without a second thought he put his down upon it and the door opened, with a gust of steam and hard wind. As the steam vanished, Finklar saw that a small craft was taking off through a small hole in the top of the room.
"I think we just missed him." He said over the winds as the craft departed.

So? It was a door behind the door. Kudos to the first person who guesses the title's inspiration.
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Old 05-28-2008, 10:35 AM
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This chapter reminded me of Indian Jones for some reason. =D
Great though! Keep them coming!
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Sleep well my Abe babe~

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Old 06-06-2008, 09:48 AM
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This chapter reminded me of Indian Jones for some reason. =D
Great though! Keep them coming!
I love Indy.

I just want to give a short apology to anyone who read this fan-fic. I'm running out of ideas to use for new obstacles so I'll have to make it end soon.

Chapter 27

On the Run


Finklar stepped forward through the door into what seemed to be the Vykker's quarters. Germ tested to see if the doors still closed if he took his palm off the square. The doors stayed open, and Germ motioned for Abe to follow. As they caught up with Finklar they saw that this room was circular. Finklar stepped up onto the landing pad looking for anything. Nothing seemed to be on the pad, but on the sides of the room there was a single pannel. Finklar inspected it finding some interesting controls until he came to an odd one. It read "Release test subjects", and the lever was pulled down. Finklar looked from side to side frantically searching for them.

Germ was watching and without knowing what he was looking for copied Finklar. Finklar explained that they were looking for an opening. But what he didn't know was that the openings were on the ceiling and at this moment were opening soundlessly.

Plunk. Finklar turned in the direction to see a mutated beyond recognition slog. Another plunk. This time it was another one of the cylinder-like creatures. Only this one had legs and was somewhat smaller. And his mouth was much bigger. One-by-one tests plonked onto the ground, all sleeping. Finklar motioned to his comrades to be quiet and sneak toward the exit. But just outside the door a last latch opened, releasing a huge supply of slurgs. Finklar's mouth opened in horror. There wasn't any way out now unless they sudenly sprouted wings. Finklar's panic was so great he couldn't think straight, but Abe had a plan.

Abe looked at each of the test subjects and one of them happened to be a huge slog with gigantic wings. Abe then began his chant very quitely. But a scrab who's hearing had been amplified then woke up slowly. Raising it's head slightly he then attempted to get to his feet, only to find that they weren't there. Instead he had a pair of arms. Pushing himself upright on them he focused in on the source of sound which was coming from the other side of the room. He hoped this wasn't another trick. He hadn't gotten any food since the day they had tested out his abilities.

Abe now had control of the slog which he moved silently towards Germ and Finklar. Germ turned a plae shade of green whereas Finklar saw Abe and was releived. Getting on top of a slog was no easy task but he accomplished it, along with Germ. Finklar then picked Abe up and lifted him onto the slog as they began to take off. It was there that Germ saw the charging srab. It was moving at an incredibly fast rate, and it's mouth was open.
"Look out!" He cried as he shot at it in his panic. While this killed it, it also alerted all the other creatures The first one to charge forward was a fuzzle enlarged and fused onto four scrab legs. But none of them got close enough before the slog had take off in direction of the Almighty Raisen.

Calming down Finklar then closed his eyes slowly. Then behind them came a something huge and black. The cylinder was back. Germ pulled his gun out and Finklar brandished his snuzi. Despite firing with all the power they could it didn't go down. It simply got closer and closer. Finklar then told Germ to aim for the creature's eyes. Doing as he was told, the two managed to hit him squarely. He was blind now. In desparation he lew back to the lab, where he hoped for proper treatment. The sinking sun then gave way to the moon. Germ gazed at it seeing Abe's paw on it. It was a new sight for him. But this whole journey was a new sight for him as well.

Ahhh... The wonders of a finished chapter.
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Old 06-06-2008, 08:08 PM
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Good chapter ending. Then again, good chapter. ^^
Those test subjects were awesome btw, they sound like the twisted monsters vykkers would come up with. =D
If you need help coming up with ideas, try writing your problem down on a sticky-note and putting it somewhere you'll see it often, then forget about it. Thats what I do. You'll think of something eventually. Plus, always keep a notebook handy, so if you have bad memory like me and come up with a good idea/sentence that you think will go good with a chapter, you can write it down. ^^
More please! =D
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Old 06-08-2008, 04:33 AM
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Good chapter ending. Then again, good chapter. ^^
Those test subjects were awesome btw, they sound like the twisted monsters vykkers would come up with. =D
If you need help coming up with ideas, try writing your problem down on a sticky-note and putting it somewhere you'll see it often, then forget about it. Thats what I do. You'll think of something eventually. Plus, always keep a notebook handy, so if you have bad memory like me and come up with a good idea/sentence that you think will go good with a chapter, you can write it down. ^^
More please! =D
Boom! I got an idea just by looking at some paper! Make way for the new chapter. I'll end it around chapter thirty.
Chapter 28

The Raisen


As the flying slog began to move closer to the ground Germ gripped the slog tighter. The green grass was coming up faster and faster. As the slogs feet made impact Abe began to deposses the slog. The slog tingled and started to shake. Finklar and Germ saw this as a time to get off and take Abe with them. Just when Abe's feet touched the ground the slog exploded, sending bits and peices of slog meat flying in every direction. Abe regained consioucness and upon doing so asked, "Did it work?"
"Yes it did." Said Finklar.

Now there wasn't any other option but go back to the Raisen for more advice. They began the long trek back. It was night now and the paramites would be out now. Their shrieks could be heard in the distance. The seemed to became louder and louder. Then fast footfalls could be heard coming their way. The paramites were on the hunt. Finklar motioned for them to hide. A couple of rocks on a side path was where they chose to hide. The shrieks were now right next to them. The grew dimmer as something else grew louder. It was like a high-pitched slog bark. Finklar looked to quickly examine it. It was a green six-legged thing with nothing but teeth all over it. It's huge eyes were black and seemed to be stickers rather than actual spheres. It's eyes lit the ground in front of it. Finklar ducked back behind the rock as the creature went on further and further. Once it had dissapeared the trio began to walk again but this time more carefully.

They had no more encounters on the rest of their journey back. They then walked into the Raisen's cave not noticing the burnt out torches. Once inside the Raisen's chambers they expected to see the Raisen towering over them where instead they found nothing. The Raisen was gone. Abe stared in shock and it took Germ three shakes to get him out of his transe. Finklar inspected the place where the Raisen should have been, looking for clues. Germ on the other hand looked for anybody who was still here. The high-pitched slog bark resounded through the cave. Germ turned arond and saw a herd of the green legs coming in through the door. Three of the creatures stayed to blockade the door.
"We've got company." Said Germ. Finklar and Abe looked up from their searching and froze in terror. Finklar pulled out his snuz only to find it's clip empty. Germ loaded his shotgun with shells and took aim for the biggest one. It advanced upon the now surrounded trio. It then stood right before Germ.
"You don't think you can win do you?" It said in a still high-pitched and hoarse voice, "Yes we've learnt the secrets of speech. You may not have seen us before but I doubt you will ever see us again. We aren't against you or with you but the Raisen has made peace with us before and so now we see he is gone. I ask you to tell me the truth, did you take him?"
"No. We're looking for him for advice on how to catch a particular vykker." Replied Finklar.
"And what has he done?"
"Killed a glukkon freind of mine."
"I know the one you speak of. Headly the auctioner. He killed him for solely the action inccedent where he could have outbidded Lulu by a single moolah. Thanks to Lulu getting it he lost his old job as auctioner for selling it to a glukkon who lost the last can of gabbiar. He didn't get the new job until after Tex was killed where he got a part of his money, and managed to buy his way to the top of Vykker's Labs." The leader finished.

Finklar now knew who had killed Tex. But how still remained a question. And Finklar had no idea of his whereabouts now, and he doubted that this green thing would know.
"Thank you. We must be going now." Said Finklar.
"Going? Now? If we let you go where would you go?" Questioned the green leader.
"After the vykker." Said Finklar firmly.
"You wouldn't catch him on foot. We know where he is." Said the green leader as he retracted his teeth.
"You want us to ride on you?" Asked Abe before Finklar could stop him, "Ok then." Abe then jumped on top of the leader. Finklar then climbed on top of a second. Germ clambered atop another. With that they took off into the night.
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Originally Posted by Splat View Post
Congratulations, Oddey, on winning FC's fanfiction competition two years running! You are clearly the man to beat!

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