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  #91  
Old 06-08-2008, 07:57 AM
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Cool. I liked how you described the thing's eyes as being 'flat, like stickers'. Really gave me an impression of what the thing looked like. ^^
Glad to see you've found more inspiration. =D
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  #92  
Old 06-09-2008, 02:35 PM
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Great chapters! They both gave me chills!
Sorry I wasn't here to read them before.
I'll put it in my favorites then.
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  #93  
Old 06-13-2008, 02:24 PM
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I haven't read all the chapters yet, but just from the first few I'm hooked and can't wait to read more, great work

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  #94  
Old 06-24-2008, 01:01 PM
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Sorry or the long delay but you'll have to wait till I get back to Denmark because the laptop I'm using loves to delete letters I put in and replace them with other ones. And I seriously don't have so much time and when I do I'm usually incredibley tired. So it's not a convenient time or me to write anything right now. However I may make a sequal sometime. But I will make something else. Maybe not about these guys but who knows.

As a little note, any of you who haven't been to Universal studios then go there.
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  #95  
Old 06-24-2008, 01:11 PM
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Aww...alright Oddey. Just don't forget about this fanfic or the characters if you do decide to write something else. =P

I've never been there or at Six Flags!
But I shall go to both...I don't know when..but I will!
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  #96  
Old 06-24-2008, 05:38 PM
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Aww...alright Oddey. Just don't forget about this fanfic or the characters if you do decide to write something else. =P

I've never been there or at Six Flags!
But I shall go to both...I don't know when..but I will!
I won't. As my first fan fic it'll be real fun to look back at. Besides I'll finish it soon.

Good on you. That's the kind of determination people need. The six flags parks are pretty good too even if I went to Marine World. Good anyway. Besides it's just for me since I'm not a big daring dude. Begging your pardon I've gone ay off the point.
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  #97  
Old 06-25-2008, 10:34 AM
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Almost done reading this. I like it this far!
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  #98  
Old 07-14-2008, 12:52 PM
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I feel it's time you guy's got a chapter. One more and then I'm done with this fan fic. However excpect a sequal eventually because I was struck with an awesome thought. Won't tell you yet though.
Chapter 29

Confrontation


It was morning. The sun was creeping over the trees and cliffs. Scrabs were howling. It would have been very tranquil if Finklar had not been preoucupied with his mind racing of possible ways Headly could have killed Tex. Unfortuneatly even though he was a great inventor he wasn't so advanced. They were still riding the green things when Finklar recalled how Tex had died. He had been strangled. But looking at his own claw he wondered how he could have done so. Then the things came to an abrubt stop sending Finklar flying. The entire flock disappeared.

When Finklar got up he saw his commrades where getting up as well. Then he noticed a crashed vykker pod. A dead slig leaned on the steering wheel. and next to him was a motionless Headly. As Germ and Abe caught up Headly stirred. Opening his eyes he then started to speak in a hoarse voice.
"I knew you'd be here. I knew it'd be you. How did I do it? My labours won't go unheard of so I 'll tell you. I took three mudokons. I used them to conduct various things such as brain surgeory, steroids or combinations. Then in my last test I discovered how to manipulate them to my will. So I did what I wanted most to kill Tex. They strangled him, smeared slave blood on the trees and took a portion of his money. Thereafter I discoverd the manipulation effects are short term and they left my will. However I had traced them with hidden cameras. Aftereffects must have caused them to enslave the freed mudokon. At that time I saw you. I thought you were a vykker gone mad so I set up a campaign showing The Mudos how mad you were .Then when I heard of Abe's capture and escape, I knew something else was at work. I looked at the files from nearby factories and found you to be the most likely pursuer. I knew you'd come to Vykker's Labs so I prepared my escape. And my pilot, being untrained crashed. You have my story but you won't ever tell it to anyone." He finished as he flashed out a gun and shot directly a Finklar.
Germ had seen it coming and jumped inbetween them letting the bullet peirce his chest. Crying out in pain as the bullet penatrated and left his body. With his last strength he shot Headly. Headly was peirced through the head and fell over and was no more. The bullet from Headly had slowed from the impact enough to let Finklar move away.the bullet grazed his left enough so the it would only pain slightly. Germ was more important. He was already unconsious. Picking him up he headed for the Raisen's cave at impossible speed. Once inside he began a variety of life saving techniques. None of them having instantanious effects. He then waited. Constantly checking for a pulse and for any kind of device usable as a medical instrument. After a inute a faint pulse began. Thankfull he had used a strap of his travelling cloak as a bandage he waited for Germ to regain consioucness. After another minute of waiting Abe arrived. Looking incredibely tired he collapsed from exahaustion and fell asleep on the spot. Finklar felt he had to stay awake. And so he did.

Now what?
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  #99  
Old 07-14-2008, 07:16 PM
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Was that the last chapter? It seemed a little rushed...BUT I still LOVED it!! Like I loved the whole thing! I can't wait to see what else it is that you're making! Don't keep us...me waiting!
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  #100  
Old 07-15-2008, 04:58 AM
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Was that the last chapter? It seemed a little rushed...BUT I still LOVED it!! Like I loved the whole thing! I can't wait to see what else it is that you're making! Don't keep us...me waiting!
Oh no there's another. But after that you'll have to wait till I get off my lazy butt and write it.

Yeah... Maybe, but how else could I have made it end better? Thank you.

Yeah it seems I'm either writing this for the invisible crowd, you or me.

And because I want to let out the last chapter soon I'll write it now.
Chapter 30

Forgetfulness


Germ's vision was blurred. A steadily beeping noise came from his right. His chest pained him slightly. As his vision came back to him he saw Finklar standing to his left.
"What happened?" He asked.
"Your trick worked. And you've been out for about three days now." Replied Finklar. Germ took a moment to look at his surroundings. He was in a white room with several beds not unlike his own where scattered around the room. The beeping noise came from a small device on a table alongside his bed.
"Where are we?" He wondered aloud.
"Alot happened in the past three days. I got Headly's job, Abe's gone back to put the rest of the industrialists out of buisness, and I've been 'redecorating' the entire ship to be enviorment freindly. The other workers seemed ok with it but all the glukkons are laughing at us." Finklar finished. Germ laid his head back into his bed and layy there a while before looking down at his chest. A good deal of finely sowed stitches were visible. It still hurt but not as much as the impact.
"If you ever need any painkillers there's a jar on the table. I have to go check up on the rest of the ship. You should be up and walking within another day or two." Finklar said and with that left.

The engines of the ship had been redone to use less fuel and run mainly on anti-gravity devices. All test were done on a minimal amount of subjects. Despite the changes that most vykkers claimed to have hated they found them just as good if not better. Finklar had his room at the top of the ship with a lookout tower and several security monitors. Each manned by Finklar himself and a select few vykkers. Finklar was on his way there. It felt very memorable but this time nothing was trying to stop him.

When he got to his quarters he had a look at the security monitors, had a few tests of his own, then laid on his bed. Ever since he had gotten here he had felt there was something he had forgotten. He had been trying to figure it out. After giving it some thought he still couldn't think of it. Looking out his wondow he looked below. A green leg dissapeared behind a cluster of trees. He then remembered the Raisen's dissapearance and the green creatures. 'Me, Germ, and maybe Abe have to find him.' He thought as he raced back down the stairs into the patient room and told Germ everything.
"Well I can't go anywhere until anyother day or two." He said when Finklar finished.
"Either way that's about how long it'll take to find Abe," Said Finklar, "I'm off to find him now. I'll have my own craft set out to find him. I'll be back in a day or two." He said as he exited to pack a few of his things and then jetison his own ship.

As his ship left the bay he then set off in direction of the nearest out of buisness factories looking for Abe. It was probable that he had forgotten too, and the factory he used to work in had only been shut down a few hours ago. Luckily Finklar had perhaps the fastest News reports in the Mudos. Abe was most likely on his way to the next factory.

I just skim read the rest of the story and it does all make sense. And I can see why you like it so much. I like it too. I almost forgot the plot so it does keep you geussing. Well that's it, and it's been fun, but now you'll have to wait for me to make my sequal.
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  #101  
Old 07-15-2008, 09:37 AM
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It really annoys me that I didn't read this sooner. But anyway, great fanfic. I look forward to seeing the sequal!
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  #102  
Old 07-15-2008, 09:51 AM
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I gotta read the sequal! D=
I'll have to read this again too!
Still great work on the fanfic Oddey!
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  #103  
Old 07-15-2008, 01:11 PM
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Thank you. It means alot that I know people other than me have read this story.

Now that I'm finished I feel strangely empty. Like there's something I've lost but I can't remember what. I have to write that sequal very soon. I've grown fond of this short chapter style so I think I'll use it again. However this time I'll plan out the entire storyline rather than have a basic idea and make up most of it as I go along. Yes I did that this whole time. All I need is one-three nights and I'll have the whole thing planned out. And just now another awesome thought hit me to add to the sequal. Don't ask for details but I can tell you that Abe, Germ, Finklar, and a possible Munch may appear. Remember how Munch was with Headly? Where'd he go?
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  #104  
Old 07-16-2008, 01:42 AM
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SEQUELPLZ.
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  #105  
Old 07-16-2008, 12:22 PM
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Wow! Look at me! I have a basic outline for my sequel! Munsh isn't in it. I just need some time to fine tune it. And besides it's just stupid having a sequel to a fan fic that's still on the list of posts in the last thirty days. Besides I'd like a little time where I don't have to write anything for a while.
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  #106  
Old 08-08-2008, 12:21 PM
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Did the sloggy from Vykker Labs die?
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  #107  
Old 08-09-2008, 01:40 AM
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Did the sloggy from Vykker Labs die?
You do realize you posted in a clearly discontinued thread, asked a slightly unimportant question and may be interfracted for doing so? But yes I beleive he did so that's the end of that. No more posts please.(This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, I just want this thread to die away. Note that the first dot in my signature will take you straight to Murder Market.
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