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  #1  
Old 01-30-2017, 07:55 PM
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Default Most embarrassing thing you've done in public

I'm bored, so I'm gonna start a funny. This thread has probably been created years before eventually being thrown into the Necrum burial grounds, but eh. Just tell me the stupidest, most humiliating thing you've done in public and we can laugh about it.

For me, the most embarrassing thing I can remember right now happened a few months ago when I was out shopping with my mother. We had just bought a new house and we were deciding on common household furniture, utilities and appliances and all... Of course we were going at this at a pretty slow rate, but things were progressively coming together. We were going through one of the kitchen isles of Target and I was talking about all the weird things we've never actually had - like a toaster oven or a fryer. Then the subject came up of wienie roasters. I forget the exact kind of chatter that was going back and forth, but being the retard I am, I inevitably screwed up by saying something along the lines of "we should get one of those things so we can do a spit-roast". There was like one guy in the same isle who had a minor reaction to that and my mother just sort of looked away without saying anything. After like a minute I started elaborating what I meant by talking about how much better hotdogs are when they're roasted or grilled.

I didn't know what they called those appliances. And I'm dyslexic, which probably didn't help. I was thinking about the words "spatula", "roast", "wienie", and for some reason I was also thinking of spittoons - probably because of the garden pots nearby.

You know, some people have their limits when it comes to what they're okay with revealing to their parents - even if they're irrational. The thing I feel most uncomfortable with is accidentally reminding my mom that I have a sexuality, and realizing that she of course knows. Now I'll always know that she knows where I heard that word: the internet....
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Old 01-31-2017, 12:38 AM
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I don't get it.

I don't think I have all too many embarrassing stories to tell. I don't go out enough to make a giant ass of myself. But I could tell a slightly amusing story of me being a moron, if that'd count.
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Old 01-31-2017, 07:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Oddey View Post
I don't get it.

I don't think I have all too many embarrassing stories to tell. I don't go out enough to make a giant ass of myself. But I could tell a slightly amusing story of me being a moron, if that'd count.
"Spitroast" is a term for a sex-act. It's when two men service a woman from both ends.
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Old 01-31-2017, 08:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Lord Vhazen View Post
"Spitroast" is a term for a sex-act. It's when two men service a woman from both ends.
"Service" lol.
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Old 01-31-2017, 09:48 AM
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I've "serviced" someone in a Burger King when I was younger. It wasn't embarassing to happen, but it's embarassing to admit to.
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Old 01-31-2017, 09:51 AM
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I've "serviced" someone in a Burger King when I was younger. It wasn't embarassing to happen, but it's embarassing to admit to.
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Old 01-31-2017, 10:13 AM
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"Spitroast" is a term for a sex-act. It's when two men service a woman from both ends.
is your mum hot?
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Old 01-31-2017, 10:22 AM
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I've "serviced" someone in a Burger King when I was younger. It wasn't embarassing to happen, but it's embarassing to admit to.
Did you spitroast that person?
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Old 01-31-2017, 10:23 AM
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Did you spitroast that person?
Unfortunately not, Varrok, I'm just one man.
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Old 01-31-2017, 10:51 AM
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what about the man with two dicks? could he "service" your mom?
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Old 01-31-2017, 11:18 AM
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I dreamed Xorlidyr once. I don't know if that was embarrassing or not, but it was sure some fabolous dream even I if don't remember what happened exactly in it.
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Old 01-31-2017, 11:45 AM
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I dreamed Xorlidyr once. I don't know if that was embarrassing or not, but it was sure some fabolous dream even I if don't remember what happened exactly in it.
Ah, I dreamed Varrok once. The crook wanted to sell me MO on GBA.
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Old 01-31-2017, 11:51 AM
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Vlam. Listen.

I just needed money, alright?
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Old 01-31-2017, 12:06 PM
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That was embarrassing, but not for Vlam.
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Old 01-31-2017, 12:21 PM
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Guess I don't have to say my most embarassing thing now.
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Old 01-31-2017, 02:53 PM
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I didn't even know spit-roast was a sexual term until this thread. My ass always thought of a rotisserie pig or chicken or some shit. Makes sense, though.

The most embarrassing thing I've done in public was exist. Don't ban me for bullying myself, okay guys

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Old 01-31-2017, 03:00 PM
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My ass always thought of a rotisserie pig or chicken or some shit. Makes sense, though.
That's pretty embarrassing.
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Old 01-31-2017, 03:19 PM
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Not really, spit-roast is just another word for rotisserie. Here, at least. I've heard it in enough child-oriented cartoons that didn't cause a room of adults to giggle that I had no reason to assume it was also a slang for a sex position. If I asked a store worker where they keep their spit-roasts, they'd know exactly what I was talking about.

I want to say it's a dialect thing, like fanny(US) vs fanny(UK and AUS), or rubber, but I don't know what part of the states Vhazen is in so...


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Old 01-31-2017, 04:26 PM
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The spit-roast state, obviously.
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Old 01-31-2017, 04:30 PM
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Sounds like a party

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Old 01-31-2017, 08:54 PM
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Does second hand embarassment count?
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Old 01-31-2017, 09:24 PM
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Not really, spit-roast is just another word for rotisserie. Here, at least. I've heard it in enough child-oriented cartoons that didn't cause a room of adults to giggle that I had no reason to assume it was also a slang for a sex position. If I asked a store worker where they keep their spit-roasts, they'd know exactly what I was talking about.

I want to say it's a dialect thing, like fanny(US) vs fanny(UK and AUS), or rubber, but I don't know what part of the states Vhazen is in so...
I'm in the moo moo state where all the moo-farms are for all the animoos. AKA Texas.

Also apparently google confused me because it gives you a different definition depending on if you type it with a dash or one word. For some reason the urban meaning only pulls up for one of them. So eh, I guess it's only a half embarrassment.

For real though I wanna hear your stories... please just feed me anything at this point. Go outside and do something stupid! :u

inb4 thread gets deleted
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Old 01-31-2017, 10:23 PM
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Does second hand embarassment count?
Whose second hand was that? Your uncle's?
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Old 01-31-2017, 11:26 PM
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"Spitroast" is a term for a sex-act. It's when two men service a woman from both ends.
Don't be so heteronormative!
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Old 02-01-2017, 12:53 AM
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Puked
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Old 02-01-2017, 02:09 AM
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I was walking with a friend down the street once and we were stuck behind this group of girls walking as slow as anything. In frustration I did this thing with my hands kinda like a "come on fucking move" gesture, but a couple of them turned around as I was doing this and it pretty high key looked like I was gesturing to grab their arses.

Fuck it makes me cringe thinking about it.
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Oh yeah, fair point. Maybe he was just tortured until he lost consciousness.

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Old 02-01-2017, 09:14 AM
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Lord Vhazen Lord Vhazen is offline
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I was walking with a friend down the street once and we were stuck behind this group of girls walking as slow as anything. In frustration I did this thing with my hands kinda like a "come on fucking move" gesture, but a couple of them turned around as I was doing this and it pretty high key looked like I was gesturing to grab their arses.

Fuck it makes me cringe thinking about it.
Oh I get it, so it's kind of like how this image of two characters in a kid's show looks really really bad at first glance.
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Old 02-01-2017, 09:17 AM
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Varrok Varrok is offline
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@Lord Vhazen The more MLPs you post, the more most embarrassing things you're creating.
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Old 02-01-2017, 09:26 AM
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@Lord Vhazen The more MLPs you post, the more most embarrassing things you're creating.
Is there a problem, officer?

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Old 02-01-2017, 10:41 AM
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I grew up in California, but I'm Danish by descent. My parents are Danish as well and were raised in Denmark, so they tend to default to Danish when speaking. I spoke both languages while I was a kid, but for a long time, I was fluent in neither and as a result, misunderstandings could occur quite easily. One in particular amuses me, though it doesn't really embarrass me that much.

I think I would have been around 7 or 8 when this happened, attending elementary school. There was this girl I knew, called Olivia. I had met her in pre-school, so even though we weren't in the same class, we knew each other well enough to speak casual conversation. One day, it ends up being that she and I are walking the same way home from school (normally not the case). Conversation starts and somehow, she pulls out the line "You know I have a crush on you, right?"

I didn't know what a crush was. So I tried to fill in the blank. I figured, crush means to destroy or harm, therefore she must be trying to say she can crush me, implying she's stronger than me. So, my reply was: "Well, I'm pretty strong."

I don't think that's quite what she wanted to hear.

So if you ever think you're oblivious to other people's advances, just remember that I once practically challenged a girl to a fight because she said she had a crush on me. The best part is that I didn't realize this until I was about 21, where I suddenly remembered it and realized how badly I had misunderstood what she was talking about.
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Congratulations, Oddey, on winning FC's fanfiction competition two years running! You are clearly the man to beat!

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