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  #1  
Old 06-04-2003, 09:51 PM
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TheRaisin TheRaisin is offline
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Default Skrit's Oddventure

Skrit ran. Skrit leaped. Skrit skittered. But mostly Skrit just ran. And with good reason.
"Five moolah if ya get one in da head!" Blam, blam-bla-blam!
"Yer on!" Blamblamblamblamblamblamblam!
"Whoa, did ya see that one explode? Hawhawhawhaw!"
Skrit was a paramite, a pack leader in fact, fierce and quick and clever and a damn nice guy. But right now he didn't feel very in control, and he was running out of paramites to lead.
The sligs (what else?) ran tirelessly on their mechanical legs, blasting and laughing and making wagers and blasting some more and getting paid to do it. They were a clearing crew, an especially brainless and trigger-happy group of sligs whose job was to flush out or eliminate any "potentially dangerous" wildlife (all of it) so the Glukkons could bring in heavy machinery and Mudokon slaves and tear down a five thousand-year-old old growth forest to make room for a new highly addictive leisure drug or toothpick factory.
But Skrit didn't know any of this at the time. All he knew was that he and his pack and every creature in the forest was being chased away by many sligs with shiny black sticks that kill things.
Mudokons, paramites, elums, slurgs, fleeches, birds, and countless others began fleeing the forest like water bursting out of a dam: first just a trickle, then pairs, then large groups, until finally there was a huge rush of life, flying, running, leaping, trying to preserve and pass on their genes for the betterment of the species.
As Skrit's now ludicrously small rag-tag band of paramites shot out of the trees and onto the cracked, lifeless soil of the great desert, the sligs stopped firing and turned back towards their small encampment: their job was done. And Skrit's troubles were just beginning.
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Old 06-04-2003, 09:57 PM
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Question How am I doing?

So? You like? Praise TheRaisin's mighty writing talent and he might roll 'em out a bit faster. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, natch-natch, say no more!, say no more! Sharp as a thistle, clean as a whistle, best in all Westminstah!
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Old 06-04-2003, 10:13 PM
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Very interesting! It looks like it has a lot of promise in it. I'll be reading.
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Old 06-05-2003, 01:03 AM
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Happy Thank you

I humbly thank you. I look forward to your support as I explore the world I have created, and I am honored that I will have a fellow traveler on my journey through the many corridors of my imagination.

The Raisin is smart,
and he is good at poems,
he should try haiku.
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Old 06-05-2003, 02:36 AM
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Hey, Thats an excellent start. Now all you have to do is continue!

oh, no dubble posting allowed, sorry! Try using the edit button instead.....
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Last edited by Strike Witch; 06-04-2003 at 06:38 PM..
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  #6  
Old 06-06-2003, 12:56 AM
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Wired Chapter II!

BTW, having started this story, I intend to see it through to the end, so bear with me if it gets a little long.

O-kay, Chapter II!

Skrit stood looking back at the forest that had been the home of his pack since it first came together generations ago. He stood conflictedly for a moment, not wanting to abandon his ancestral home but at the same time knowing he could never go back. Finally, he turned and uttered a short bark to his followers: it was time to go. With quiet steps and bent heads they walked off single-file into the freezing desert night.
Silently they trudged across the barren landscape, never resting. Skrit knew they had a long trek ahead of them, and although they could go many days without food, they would be hard pressed for water. Finally, just as crimson sunlight was beginning to show over the flat horizon, they came to an ancient outcropping of rocks, probably left millenia ago by gigantic glaciers. Skrit stopped and rasped out a command: here they would stop and gather their strength.
As the hulking females and their offspring went to find shelter and set up a temporary den at the middle of the ring of stones, and the sleek males leapt onto the outer boulders to form a perimeter guard, Skrit, ever vigilant for anything potentially harmful to the pack, climbed up the jutting, oblong slab of rock pointing south at the edge of the small outcropping. Reaching the tip of the humongous slanting crag, he looked out over the rapidly heating, lifeless wasteland. He could not see the edge.
Once on the ground, he told the assembled paramites that they would sleep here for the rest of the day, doing as little as possible to conserve energy, and would set out again as soon as the coolness of twilight came. Taking his own advice, he wandered further into the silent, looming sentinels. Finding a small niche, he settled down and soon fell into a restless and unnerving sleep.
Soon, strange heat-induced dreams came to him, images of great, shining structures, spewing smoke into the blighted sky. He saw forests being torn down by giant, moving boulders, but boulders such as he had never seen: they moved, as if they weren't boulders at all, but nor were they alive. And worst of all, he saw paramites, scrabs, countless other creatures being herded into great, humming buildings from which eminated horrible shrieks, and he knew it was a place of death. After hours of such torment, Skrit awoke. The sky was now darker, fading into blue, and the air was cooling. He knew that the pack would have to move soon, lest they lose valuable travel hours.
As the small group set out once again, he looked back uneasily at the dark, omious shapes jutting into the sky. He was glad to be gone from this place, but he could not help feeling that his dreams had had meaning, and that something evil was lurking in the distance, across these parched lands, waiting to devour any life within it's grasp. And that would soon include him.


Whew! Okay. Finished. Umm, having been sick as a slog, it may take me a few days to get the next chapter up. Don't worry, I'll get to it soon.

TheRaisin would like
To hear your comments of praise,
It may help him write.
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  #7  
Old 06-09-2003, 05:33 AM
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oh I see what your getting i really like the story please right more after all i am Vise Presedent Aslik.
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Old 06-11-2003, 05:47 PM
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Native Accident

Well not right now.
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  #9  
Old 06-12-2003, 01:13 AM
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Happy Chapter III! (finally)

OOOOOOOOO-kay, after a brief (long) hiatus (horrible incapacitating fever), TheRaisin (me) presents....

Chapter III

After leaving the eerie stone outcropping, Skrit and his pack spent a long night trekking across the seemingly endless desert, until, finally, just as the first few rays of sunlight began peeking over the horizon, Skrit stopped, looked up, and let out a wild paramite cheer, which was quickly taken up by the rest of the group. It marked the edge of the vast, scorched plains, and the hope of a new life and a new home. It was a hill. And beyond that another hill, this time with a hint of grass. And beyond that was another hill, this one with a few scraggly trees. And after a few more hills, the trees suddenly proliferated, tall and strong and lush, stretching into an emerald green forest that reached almost to the ice caps of the huge mountains that rose from the living green carpet around them.
The pack ran in unison towards the jungle haven, even the tiniest pups keeping up, for they all knew instinctively that this world of greenery would be where they would settle down once more, begin a new life, and try to forget about the grief and loss that had pervaded their last home. In time, the pack would recover, reproduce once again, make up for the ones who had been killed by the sligs, and maybe build a pack even bigger and better than the last.
A ways into the forest, Skrit found a small, cold stream emptying into a crystal-clear pool. After drinking his fill, he retreated to a spacious hollow at the base of one of the hefty trees at the edge of the clearing. While the rest of the pack drank and played at the small watering hole, Skrit slept... and dreamed.
Once again, the images came, horrible images of death and destruction. This time, they came faster, and another image came too. It was a Mudokon, but Skrit somehow instinctively knew that this was no ordinary chump. The Mudokon had many tattoos and jewelry, and across his whole body was the recurring pattern of a paramite. Unbeknownst to Skrit, this was the spirit of a Mudomo, still lingering to help the paramites that had been so sacred to his tribe. He spoke a single word, that Skrit somehow understood: "Beware..."
The sound echoed horribly in Skrit's head, and he awoke suddenly to find that the sound came not just from his dream.

What will happen next? What does the Mudokon spirit want to warn Skrit about? What is this horrible noise? Find out in the next installment of--bum-ba-da-duuum!--Skrit's Oddventure!
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  #10  
Old 06-13-2003, 02:29 AM
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Happy Chapter IV

For your amusement,
TheRaisin presents to you
The next installment.

Chapter IV

The sound was a chainsaw. All the paramites turned their heads in the direction of the sound and hissed in a perturbed tone. Irked that his sleep had once again been interrupted, Skrit stood and gathered a small scouting party, leaving most of the males behind to guard the pack.
After a few minutes of creeping through the underbrush, the small scouting party came to the edge of a large clearing where slig poppers stood watching over Mudokon scrubs wielding chainsaws, flaunting their weapons menacingly in case the scrubs got any ideas. Skrit's first reaction was to attack the sligs, then the Mudokons, and have a feast after their long desert journey. But he quickly realized that even with his full pack, there was no way they could take down a group of well-armed sligs, and if the Mudokons jumped in with their chainsaws, it would be a massacre.
Skrit decided to leave the small scouting party there to keep an eye on the sligs. Meanwhile, he went back to the small pond where the pack was camped and told the pack members to stay silent, then sent another scouting party to scout the area beyond and around the clearing where the scrubs were cutting down trees, to see if there were any other Industrialists camped nearby. Finally, he went back to the area where the sligs stood commanding the Mudokon slaves, leaving a guard of his best and strongest paramites to protect the rest of the pack. When he got to the clearing, he took a closer look at the group of sligs and scrubs.
There were about one-thousand scrubs using chainsaws to cut down the giant trees, being guarded by about five-hundred slig poppers, with a few slackers walking up and down the line of Mudokons, shouting things like "Work harder!" and "If you don't meet the quota, we'll make good use of you somewhere else... like a slog hut, bein' ground up an' fed to the slogs!"
At the other end of the large meadow was a huge prefab portable barracks for the sligs. A few slogs could be seen chained to the building, chewing on bones. Next to the barracks was a gigantic enclosure area, little more than a high barbed-wire fence. There was also a small truck area. Around the whole compound was a high fence with gates at the truck area and directly in front of the buildings, and rickety guard towers, which were basically ladders with spotlights. It all looked like it had been set up within a day, which, with the Glukkons' knack for cheap, portable prefab buildings, wasn't all that unlikely. Finally, near where the Mudokon slaves silently cut down trees, was a large group of vehicles, some of which were obviously massive Mudokon and slig transports, some of them simple flatbed trucks on which the scrubs heaved the huge trees so that they could be shipped to a factory, processed, and made into toothpicks, back-scratchers,and toilet-seat covers. Despite the crudeness of the whole operation, it was well guarded with it's weight in sheer numbers, and would be impenetrable for Skrit's small group, which consisted of 50 to 60 paramites, many of them females or juveniles.
As Skrit watched intensely for any kind of possible weakness, a small berry stung the top of his head. He shook it off and resumed his vigil, until another small berry hit him. He turned his gaze up into the branches of the tree above him, and saw, to his surprise, a paramite not of his pack.


Now praise my brilliance!
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Last edited by TheRaisin; 06-14-2003 at 07:43 PM..
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  #11  
Old 06-14-2003, 11:12 PM
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TheRaisin TheRaisin is offline
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Happy Chapter V

Nope, no intro comment, except that I may have overreacted about not getting a response: I thought it had been, like, a week, but I realized it was more like three days. I've lost track of time because school's almost out. My bad!

Chapter V

Skrit instinctively shrieked at the intruder, as it is considered poor ettiquete for a paramite to sneak up on a member of another pack in such a fashion, then realized he had made a mistake.
"What the hell was that?" wondered one of the sligs.
"Hell if I know," said an armored popper, "but I'm gonna find out!"
The slig walked to the edge of the clearing where Skrit, his scouting party, and the new paramite were hiding. Seeing nothing through the dense foliage, he ventured a ways into the trees. Skrit was quivering with fear: they were about to be discovered! If the slig fired a single shot, the others would come running. Skrit and the small scouting party would be killed instantly, and it wouldn't be long till the rest of the pack was found and slaughtered.
Just as the slig was about to step into the small thicket were Skrit's scouting party was hiding, three paramites; the one who had thrown berries to get Skrit's attention and two others apparently of the same tribe, dropped down on silk lines and grabbed the slig. Two grabbed his arms, taking his gun so he was defenseless, while the other clasped his mouth and throat so he couldn't shout for help. Skrit was amazed at the skill and deftness with which these foreign paramites captured and neutralized their prey-- they had done this before! They backtracked up their silken ropes, both drawing the material into their body and climbing with their hind legs at the same time. They disappeared into the dense canopy, and there was a slight rustling and a snikt! sound as they disposed of the helpless slig, then silence. After a moment the one who had thrown berries at Skrit dropped back down.
The paramite (Skrit noticed that this was a female by her more muscular, heavy build. This surprised him, as males almost always are the hunters of the pack.) introduced herself as Skirk. She explained that she was the leader of a pack (even more unusual for a female) that lived in this forest, and invited Skrit to join her at her pack's den so she could give him a thorough briefing of the situation.
Selecting two of his recon party to join him and leaving the rest to resume watching the slig encampment, Skrit followed Skirk and her two-paramite escort deep into the forest, realizing he had found an allie.

There, short and sweet. Now respond at your leisure. Just within the next few days.
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  #12  
Old 06-15-2003, 03:38 AM
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Wired Chapter VI (I'm on a roll!)

TheRaisin
Has decided to do an Ogden Nash-style poem
To
Introduce the next chapter in his fan fiction story.

Oh, BTW, in Chapter II, where Skrit is on the big rock and I said it points east, make that south. I decided they head south towards a tropical region, so that's where this forest is. It's like a tropical not-quite-rain forest.

Chapter VI

After traveling for hours, Skrit, Skirk, and the four bodyguards they had with them arrived at Skirk's den. Skrit looked around for a hollow in the gigantic tree, or a nearby cave, but nothing resembling a den was to be found. Skirk made a paramite chuckle at Skrit's inquisitive "Krerk?" and then turned her head up the massive trunk of the tree, making an interesting chattering sound that Skrit had never heard before. This tribe had an odd dialect, more lilting and melodious than Skrit's pack's harsh grunts and screeches.
After several moments a silk rope ladder unfurled from the dense jungle canopy and stopped dangling just a few inches above the ground in front of them. Skrit knew this was paramite silk, but he had never seen it like this before. It was hard for his primitive brain to understand, but he realized that it was many strands twisted together in a way such as he had never seen before. These tropical paramites were clever indeed!
Skirk and her escort easily scaled the ladder, having had much practice, but Skrit and his two bodyguards had to be shown the ropes. It was actually fairly easy for Skrit and his bodyguards once they got the rhythm of it. Not having fingers to grip the rungs wasn't a problem, as paramite silk is naturally slightly sticky, and their legs form decent hooks.
When they finally broke through the thin leaf barrier obscuring their view of the treetops, they were amazed to find a small village of paramites, each family group with it's own tree hollow. Some were natural hollow spaces, some were nest-like structures built out of branches, leaves, and mud in the crooks of branches, and some appeared to have been gouged out of living wood by the sharp keritin "fingernails" at the ends of paramites' mouthparts. They stood gawking for a moment, trying to comprehend what they were seeing: paramites living in small family groups in nests and hollows they had made themselves in the canopy of a jungle. In the farther north reaches of the continent (note, this story's geography may not agree with the geography the game was created with, but it's pretty much the same, and yes, it's supposed to take place on Mudos), where forests were temperate and often composed of evergreens, this type of living was unheard of. Skrit was also amazed at the social and technological advancement of these strange paramites.
After smugly watching them stare at her tribe's complexity as a civilization, Skirk brought Skrit and his escort out of their stupor by telling them that it was time to brief Skrit on the situation, coordinate battle plans, and finally, prepare and train his pack for the war that was about to ensue.

Ok, you can respond any day now!
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Old 06-17-2003, 12:10 AM
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Native Chapter VII

Okay, am I missing something here? I know you're reading this thread, I've looked at the Views column, so let me ask you a simple question: WHY AREN'T YOU RESPONDING?! While you're thinking of how to apologize and explain why you haven't been responding, here's the next chapter, ya undeserving, ungrateful so-an'-sos, why I oughta, grumble grumble....

Chapter VII

At the center of the sprawling treetop village, in a large dwelling that served as both Skirk's living quarters and HQ, Skirk explained the situation.
Many years ago, when Skirk was just a juvenile, the Glukkons who dominated the lands south of the mountains sent a huge convoy of transports and tree-cutting machines (Skirk had to explain machines to Skrit, who soon realized that they were the large, seemingly living boulders he had seen in his dreams) to start a massive forestry operation on this side of the mountain, having squandered the natural resources on their side of the mountain and drained the land of it's life. Naturally, the native wildlife, and even the usually docile Mudokons, fought back. The Glukkons and sligs, with their superior weapons and brutal lack of sympathy for anything that got in their way, had naturally won, and the once united native tribes and packs scattered throughout the outskirts of their homeland, watching as small patches of barren land became large fields, expanding year by year.
Although the damage to the forest was growing, it could still be undone, for despite the fact that the industrialists won in the end, they lost many machines and Mudokon slaves, and had not the funds to replace them. So the small, divided work camps continued on with their jobs, slowly but surely destroying the forest. Over time, some had been destroyed by paramite raids, but there was no longer a united force capable of doing enough damage to stop the onslaught of industry. So, for almost twenty years the paramites and other forest creatures had stood by helplessly and watched their beloved home fall to the greed of the Cartel. But now things were going to change.
Skrit's small band gave the forest paramites just the edge they needed, or so Skirk thought. But Skrit knew better. Attacking these establishments would require open assault in which the sligs would have the upper hand, and the forest paramites' clever ambushes and skill would amount to naught. They would need someone with a better understanding of open warfare, someone like him, but more importantly, they would have to rely more heavily on sheer numbers, and although Skirk was confident that she could muster up all the paramite tribes, it wouldn't be enough. They needed more than a small group of clever, well-trained paramites. They needed a full-fledged army. And Skrit knew just how to get one.
Calling on his photographic memory, he described to Skirk the Mudokon he had seen in his dreams, and asked if there were any that loosely fit that description. They were going to ask some ancient allies for another favor.

There. Another chapter down. Go ahead, reply, I'll get your messages within a day. I have no life outside school and my house.
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Old 06-21-2003, 03:12 AM
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Mad That is it!

Dammit, that does it! Seeing as how I have not gotten a reply in over a week, this thread is over! Unless you convince me to do otherwise within twenty-four hours from the time this post goes up, I'm asking the mod to close it.
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Old 06-21-2003, 07:54 AM
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Wired greatgreat!!!!!!!!

Go Raisin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Exellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't close it!!!!
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Ah, we are high school boys,
the miserable high school boys.
If we were girls, we could get popular by doing anything:
rock band, jazz band,
karate, kendo, mahjong, cyborg, synchronized swimming...
On the other hand, high school boys are
useless outside battle and sports anime.
But they're recklessly trying to make a slice-of-life anime about us.
Ah, we are high school boys,
the miserable high school boys.

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Old 06-21-2003, 10:52 AM
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keep going i read the whole thing its great!!!
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  #17  
Old 06-21-2003, 08:39 PM
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TheRaisin TheRaisin is offline
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Happy Weeeell... okay!

A'ight, since you aksed nicely (and did an excellent job of kissing up) I'll continue posting. Have the next chapter up by the end of the day tomorrow. BTW, how's "Oddito, ergo sum (I Odd, therefore I am)" as a new signature? I could use a new one.
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  #18  
Old 06-23-2003, 03:07 AM
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Y'know what? I'm sick of this thread. If you want more, do a round robin kind of thing.
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  #19  
Old 06-27-2003, 08:04 PM
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Native Well, that's that

Okay, looks like no one is going to do a round robin thing. I say, you moderator chaps, would you be so kind as to close this thread? There's a lad.
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  #20  
Old 06-28-2003, 02:46 AM
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Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)Sekto Springs is a sacred manifestation of the hippy-dippy spirit of Great Mother OWF (4398)
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i'm sure a mod would be glad to close it if you stopped breaking the rules! dont dubble...wait..triple post
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  #21  
Old 06-28-2003, 10:13 PM
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NOOO!! Don't stop! Pleeeeease! I beg you!!
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