Originally Posted by Splat
Another good chapter; good dialogue. I really need to find time to re-read this from the top...
nah, better keep the false impression of it being good
the chapters aren't completely coherent.. they don't fit together that well cause I let too much time pass between writing them ...
But I'm glad if you enjoyed reading it! thank you very much!
Originally Posted by Vyrien
You have a great knack for this, looking forwards to more.
I'm glad you like it so far
this one is a bit... error-perforated (sorry not much time) and misplaced but it would be missplaced wherever I'd put it so nvm ^^
but the slightly bizarre turn of events in this chapter are the first scenes i had in mind for this whole story... they are old but rewritten not sure if that was a good idea though... if you don't mind give me a bit of constructive criticism for this one :3
Chapter 6: promotion
-A while earlier-
Kiaw watched Sam vanishing behind the closing elevator doors in shock.
His eyes hesitantly followed the blood on the walls, back to where the Big Bros where still waiting. Then he looked around in the hall. He couldn’t see any other workers anymore. It was just him on the catwalk and the Big Bros a few meters in front of him.
They stared at him, or maybe their masks made them look as if they were staring at him. Kiaw wasn’t sure, but it made his guts turn.
A deadly silence filled the hall as if they all waited for something terrible.
Suddenly the smallest of the Big Bro Sligs started to move. It was no abrupt motion but it was so sudden that it made Kiaw slightly flinch away.
Slowly the Big Bro made his way to Kiaw.
He caused the catwalk to sway badly and the steel to jar and crack loudly under his weight.
Then he halted very close to him, casting a dark shadow.
“You’ll be punished for your behavior.” He said calmly, tightening his grip around the Blitzpacker which he carried, his voice almost sounded polite.
“But later. First we promote you, aswell…. You are no longer working here as a Scrub. You will help us- For a short while…”
The Big Bro suddenly paused and didn’t breathe, as if being interrupted by something. He looked around alerted.
But there was nobody.
“You will come with us now… for your …promotion.”
What? What kind of promotion? -Kiaw thought.
They couldn’t mean… they wanted to implant a chip into his brain?! -Or did they talk about execution?! –Did they want to sell him to Vykkers Labs?!
Kiaws heart almost stopped at the thoughts that had jumped into his mind.
He had never considered how the supervisors for the Mudokons had become the way they were.
Have they been normal before? Or have they been ‘modified’ right after hatching?
“Ah…uhm wh-what kind of promotion do you mean?” Kiaw felt cold sweat on his neck.
“You’ll help us to free the Boss.” The Big Bro said in a very low, almost whispering tone pointing with his gun at Kiaws forehead calmly. Kiaw didn’t understand.
He saw how the Big Bro talked but the words made no sense to him.
“You and your friends wanted to escape in two days, didn’t you?”
Kiaw looked at him not knowing what to say.
“We arrested your friends, so don’t try anything funny… if you want them to survive.” He pressed the gun against Kiaws head a bit stronger and then put it back into the holster, ”Follow our orders… And don’t even think of doing anything funny.” His eyes narrowed.
“00.73202 will inform you about the details. You better follow our orders or else...” he finished his sentence with an unmistakable gesture. Kiaw saw him grin so widely that a few of his razor sharp teeth shortly appeared from behind his mask.
But suddenly the ground rocked and slumped down a bit.
Surprised by the abrupt movement they both lost their balance and Kiaw fell on his knees.
Then things came to a halt again and everything was as before.
Dust rose up and formed a cloud around them. “What??” -The Big Bro swung around hastily peering to the upper levels.
Did he search for someone?
Kiaw looked around too. Till his eyes met a broken joist.
And another one….and another one…and- Kiaw’s eyes widened.
CRACK! –The catwalk swayed to its side and the part where Kiaw and the BigBro were standing swung down with breakneck speed. A shrieking sound of bursting metal filled the air. Kiaw felt weightless for an eye watering moment, before he was able to grab the guard rail at the last second. -
Then they all smashed against the wall.
The impact resounded like thunder and echoed through the Zulag.
Only a single remaining joist prevented the catwalk, which dangled vertically in midair, to fall into the darkness below.
The Big Bro, being too heavy to hold onto anything for too long, slipped off with a short gasp and fell into the darkness.
Kiaw clang to the guard rail with all his remaining strength.
After a moment of decaying echoes he could hear a much quieter dull sound of an impact.
Kiaw closed his eyes at the sound.
The echo slowly died as it circled towards the ceiling high above.
Someone snickered in the distance, but Kiaw couldn’t make out where it was coming from. Or maybe he just imagined it?
As he turned to where the other Big Bro’s had stood, he only saw the deserted opposite end of the catwalk. He was the only one around.
A sudden cold breeze stroke over his skin.
...to be continued?
I had a bit of trouble describing how the catwalk gets damaged... I'm not sure if it's completely understandable? ... I lacked a few words... ^^;